Week in Review – The One That Is Late

If I thought last week was so busy I forgot it was Friday, it had nothing on this week. This week was one of those weeks where when Friday came, I was glad of it, but yet so worn out I didn't want to do much of anything. We turned more miles in one week than we have in a long time. I am thankful for it, but have forgotten how turning that many miles, and quite a few of them in questionable weather, can wear you out. Looking back I know that when we first started trucking, we turned almost half again as many miles, but at that point my youngest daughter wasn't on the truck.

This was the snow that had fallen in Cincinnati just three hours after we got there, at which point we were still waiting to load the engine, and the snow was still falling.

This week also included our first shut down due to snow. We started the week in San Antonio (last Friday). We deadheaded all the way up to Cincinnati, hoping we would be able to get there, loaded, and start on the way out before the snow hit. Well, that didn't work out so well. Instead we got there, and waited nearly six hours to load an engine they told us it would take two hours max to finish. As we sat there, the snow rolled in. The roads were slick in the city, leaving us to question how horrible the roads would be on the open road. Since our route included several hills and curves, with questionable roads, we made the call to stop and wait until morning. By morning, it was smooth sailing.

Snow on top of already icy roads in North Indiana. 

Snow covered Chicago Midway.

Monday, which was a holiday, left us wondering if we would be able to deliver the engine in Houston. After waiting to leave because of the snow, I had battled fog on the last stretch, and really needed a little rest. No rest for the weary, we went up to Dallas and loaded going to Indianapolis and Chicago. The roads weren't too bad until the last stretch, at which point the water in the sleeper of our truck had froze. We were in desperate need of a thaw. Thankfully, we got word we would get that thaw. We reloaded in Indianapolis, after waiting for a squall line to move through and an airplane to leave the hangar, and then loaded another engine in Charlotte and headed to Miami. While on that stretch we had a light bar fall off (that was loads of fun to try to stop without having too much more damage), and the governor on our air compressor freeze. We thought the latter of those two repairs was going to be a pain to fix, but thankfully, I was able to get in touch with a dear friend, who reassured us it is an inexpensive fix that is not difficult.

You can say what you would like, and call me a fair weather trucker, but I dislike driving in most weather. I dislike rain because, while I can see, it seems most cars can’t see too well, so I am watching even closer to make sure I can see everything. I dislike fog because I have seen too many times where the other people didn't slow to the conditions and cause major wrecks. I dislike snow because you get the worst of the wetness the rain brings, and then the fear the roads will freeze to an ice skating rink, leaving you no way to control what happens. I trust my driving; it is the other people I don’t always trust. This week had me battle fog, my husband battled snow and ice, and I had a few flurries and thicker snow lines to deal with myself. We made it through safe, and thankful for God’s hand guiding us.

It is now Sunday. My husband’s birthday is tomorrow. While we were en route, I was able to stop and get his “birthday chrome,” a tradition we started. Of course it was no surprise to him what I got, but it is rather difficult to keep things a secret when we live within fifteen feet of each other. We spent yesterday getting parts for the truck and walking the mall. I was so worn out yesterday, the last thing on my mind was sharing our week.

I was blessed that this week she wanted to do schoolwork on her own. It amazes me how that works out sometimes. She finished three books on her own this week. One, we had been working on together, and the other two she just picked up and read because she wanted to keep going. I am so proud of her. I kissed her forehead several times this week and said thank you. While I grew up not hearing, “I am proud of you.” I have tried very hard to let my kids know when I am proud of them.

This week, while listening to the radio I heard, “What would you have tomorrow, if you were only left with what you thanked God for today.” Several times throughout the week I thanked God he got us to this place safe, or got us through that weather situation. When we sit to eat we thank God for our meal and the safety we have had up to that point, and pray for continued safety and wisdom. I have to say when I heard that question, I thought of how few things I would have. Sometimes, I tiring day or week can leave you thankful for the ability to make it through, but too tired to be thankful for much more. That was this kind of week. As I sit here, with everyone else, even the dogs, sleeping, I am reminded to pause and be thankful for what we have. We have been blessed with this truck, and the ability to make enough to keep things going. We have been blessed to have found a company where we can turn enough miles to get our bills caught up (this week we even paid off a credit card). We have been blessed to have our health (while my sinuses hated the dryness, we still have been blessed with very few down days due to illness). We have been blessed to be out here with each other, learning, sharing, and growing together. We have been blessed with friends who are reassuring and knowledgeable, without them we wouldn't try to handle so many things on our own. This week I am very grateful for my dear friend, Jeff, who truly blesses our lives continuously. I have been blessed with a hard working husband who wants me to just keep driving in fair weather, and have him take all the funky weather. I have been blessed with a teenager that appreciates how hard we work to keep things going. I am thankful for these things and so many more.

God blesses our lives continually. Sometimes it takes going through a rough patch to see the blessings on the other side, but if you look, you can always find something to be thankful for. No matter how hard things in your life may be, there is someone who would be thankful to be in your shoes. Remember to stop and thank God for your blessings.

 

This was from my fortune cookie during our birthday weekend lunch. While I am not a man, I am happy!

Oh, no, is it really Friday

Indiana sunset. I definitely enjoy being able to watch sunrises and sunsets from our moving office.

Where has this week gone? Last thing I remember we were wondering what we would end up getting out of Chicago, as we sat in Minneapolis. Now, here we sit in San Antonio. This week has flown by. Incredible how time flies. 

This week has brought a bit of progress on the homeschooling front. No multiple books finished, like the last few weeks, just trotting along. Bonnie did finish another module in science, and is readying to take a test on that material. She is almost finished with yet another chapter in PreAlgebra, so she will be taking a test in that shortly as well. I really need to update the spreadsheet and get first semester report figured out.

Notice the speed limit. 19, not 20. I just thought it was silly.

As far as our loads go, we ended up hauling a LM6000, which was something new for us. We had to look it up to see what it was, and fretted about how we were going to tarp it. I was concerned because there is something sticking up in the middle that I was afraid would make tarping a bit difficult. In the end, it was in a can, so we didn’t tarp it at all. The kit that went with it was no big deal to tarp. When we got to Cincinnati to load, I felt rather silly for worrying about something I really didn’t need to worry about. Isn’t that life, worry about something for no reason? When we delivered in Houston, we immediately got a load going to San Antonio. When I was checking in, they made a comment about it being oversized, so we checked the engine and verified it was a little over. Since we were only going 200 miles, I thought it wouldn’t be too bad to just move it and hope things went alright. Sure enough, a scale that is never open was open! To top it off, after I entered the scale, they closed it. I was sweating bullets. The sheriff who was watching as we went across the scale kept getting a phone call, so he only asked how much the engine weighed and then let me go. At that point we had 50 miles to go in the trip. I was so scared the whole time, knowing I was wrong. Trust me that will be the last time I try to fly under the radar with an oversized load. I am thankful that scale didn’t have lasers to measure things, or my goose would have been cooked.

The "naked" engine that gave me so much grief. They removed the ECM, but not the wiring that goes with it, and the oil cooler, but not the filter. Doing half of the job on each side left the engine 106" wide.

Personally, I have really found myself struggling with blame. I am not being blamed by others, but I blame myself. I blame myself for not being the best mother my eldest daughter deserved, or any of my daughters for that matter. I wonder how things would be different if I hadn’t allowed pride to enter in. Would my eldest be a felon, with two children she can’t really take care of? Would she be under the influence of all the drugs she is, and would she be a stripper? I thought I could do it, and then repeatedly failed. If I had stopped my pride from the beginning and allowed my aunt and uncle to adopt her, would her life have been better? I blame myself for my grandchildren’s current plight. They didn’t ask to be born into this situation, and all anyone can do is try to shelter them from her circumstances, but that ends up hurting them as well. Blame has definitely rooted itself in my brain a great deal. I am praying for things to be worked out, and for the blame to lose its grip.

I pray this week has been productive, and safe for everyone. I encourage you to not worry about things, especially before you absolutely have to. I definitely wasted time worrying this week, and it was unnecessary. God has it all under control, and all we can do is keep trotting along sometimes.

Weekly Update: An Excitingly Busy Week

Oh, my goodness. It's Friday already! We have had an excitingly busy week. This week started with some wonderful news that upset me as the week went on, but at this point, I have put on my big girl pants, and it will be alright. The Lord truly was looking out for us this week, and we are ever thankful for his guidance.
Saturday night we spotted Momma June and Sugarbear, along with their entourage. Since I am not a fan, I was not impressed, nor did I really see a reason they needed said entourage. (Yes I realize Saturday is really not part of this week, but it was after my last weekly update, so I thought I would share.)
Sunday, we picked up a load in Charlotte and headed to Miami. The polar vortex was coming in that direction, and we prayed to stay south of the freeze line, and luckily were able to.

The view across the runways at MIA

Monday, we delivered that load, and were amazed to get a load right out. However, as it turned out, we didn't have the space (weight-wise) to load all the wanted. Instead, we ended up doing a local and waiting for other items to clear customs so we could leave with a full trailer. We felt God kept us in Florida until the "heat wave" hit Minneapolis (our final destination), and got us out of Florida before the flooding started there. Ten stops total for the week. We are beyond thankful we got to move. While they may talk about how much better the weather is here in Minnesota, it still is pretty awful. It looks like a beautiful winter wonderland, but the fog in the dark with freezing temps is not so wonderful. Not to mention, our truck started the week all clean, and now looks like I took it through a mud hole somewhere. I hate even getting in and out of the truck because it is such a chore to not get dirty. Please Lord, let us go somewhere warmer soon so we can wash the truck!

Cleaning the runways at MSP

Bonnie was able to finish two books this week, one of which wasn't required! She really is loving her Christmas present she didn't want. Sometimes I have to remind myself she is a teenager, so I am wrong, but this week I was able to remind her of two more things I tried getting for her that she refused and now kicks herself for doing so. One is a fleece lined sweatshirt. She said she didn't like it, and wouldn't need it, and would rather have a huge parka. Well, this week she has borrowed mine several times and said how she wished she had one. "Remember, I tried talking you into getting one." She rolled her eyes and sighed. Then, she decided to borrow my fingerless gloves that flip over to become more like mittens. She again fell in love with them. "I seem to recall suggesting you get a pair, and you said you would rather have just normal gloves." She finally admitted maybe sometimes moms do know best. That is one moment I will hold onto.
Today, as we sit in the freezing cold, we are playing chess, enjoying the quiet. God has kept us safe. He has been our provider. We are blessed. As you look back on your week, I hope you too recognize God's guiding hand in it. I pray you will stay safe throughout the week to come.

Absent Parenting

When I was growing up, both of my parents were in the military. This meant lots of missed birthdays, and very few holidays or other of life’s events with our extended family. When we were able to attend a family event, it was always something to remembered, to me anyways. I enjoyed being around my cousins, of whom there are now well over thirty, and my five aunts and three uncles. Not all of our family can be in one place at one time, as a matter of fact, the last time I remember all nine of my grandmother’s children being together was when she turned eighty. While there are some within the family that would rather complain about the family, I remember always cherishing the time we had together, and enjoying the fellowship.

Among the many things we are asked about being on the road, one of them is don’t we miss our family. My family is spread from one coast to the other, and everywhere in between. We enjoy the times we can spend with family as we get close to them; however, with the distances between my family, it was rare to have true family time. My husband, on the other hand, has lived within a few hundred miles of his family all of his life. It was because of missing out on his children’s lives that he decided to stop truck driving at the time. Whenever we are asked the question, our answers used to be the same, but I fear they won’t be soon.

This week we found out my husband’s oldest son’s girlfriend is pregnant. While my eldest daughter gave us our first two grandchildren, we rarely get to see them or have much to do with them. (That situation breaks my heart, but my daughter desperately needs to be a better mother. Watching her self-destruct and take her children down with her is very heartbreaking.) My husband has trepidations about this news, mainly because the new father is still in college, and isn’t doing that well financially, but otherwise is incredibly excited. He can’t wait to be a Paw Paw. We asked if we could host the baby shower, and were immediately declined, but told we could “bring something to it if we wanted.” Furthermore, it was stated, we aren’t home enough to handle anything, and can’t be depended upon.

I immediately got upset about the reaction, and was more upset when I found out we were declined in favor of my husband’s ex-wife. I realize our job takes us away from daily life for college kids, but up until now, we really didn’t feel like we were missing anything. When we were home, and they lived at home, we rarely saw them as it was. Now, we have to make special requests just to be able to see them ever. Before we started trucking, we had spent the previous three years covering for all the broken promises she made. Believe me, when all of it was happening, and we had to be real, and then cover her lies, it was horrible. It made me thankful my children and I were thrown away. If you say you are going to do something, do it. If you can’t, you had better own up to why you can’t. It is beyond frustrating when after all we have done, including getting his car out of repossession, one simple request to host the baby shower was declined. My feelings are still very hurt.

Of course, even when we started discussing the baby shower, I revealed that my eldest daughter would end up getting upset. Every child is convinced we love someone else more. Of course, nowadays, they all agree the youngest, who is on the truck with us full time, is the most loved. One thing usually leads to another as we discuss things while one of us is driving, and this discussion was no different. We ended up talking about who had most-favored status in our family when we were growing up. And then we discussed how each child has different roles.

Later, as I drove, I reflected upon the discussion. I was struck by how different our earthly family is from our heavenly family. While none of us could ever live up to Jesus, as far as being a son or daughter of God, God loves none of us different. He loves me the same as he loved Mother Theresa. Even though I am not blessed with the knowledge or words to be able to lead thousands to Christ, my role doesn’t affect His love. God loves all of us as we are, no matter how much we show up, no matter what we look like when we do show up. He always responds with open arms, and an open heart, ready to hug us. Our absence doesn’t make him replace us with someone else. Thank you God for loving us like you do.

While my feelings are still very hurt by the attitude with regard to the baby shower, I am also realistic. I miss the days of get-togethers at our house. I miss decorating, and taking a theme to extremes (my daughter’s friends still talk about her sushi birthday – even the cupcakes looked like sushi). A party brings out the Martha Stewart in me. I will never be the same as those that are in their lives on a regular basis. We are, absent parents, and will end up being absent grandparents. We won’t love them any less, but the feeling isn’t mutual. This makes me thankful even more for a loving heavenly Father, who loves us no matter what.

I encourage all of you to enjoy any time you have with your family, enjoy your family any time you can, and most of all remember that regardless of how our earthly family treats us, our heavenly Father is always there with open arms, ready to love us.

First Week in Review

This is the first Friday of the year. Realizing my priorities were out of alignment, I decided I would at the least make time throughout the week to do one week in review. I am sure some weeks will be easy, and others very difficult.
This week brought a lot of sitting. Monday we loaded a nose cowl that is oversized. We spent until yesterday waiting for the permits so we could move. Honestly, our dispatch seemed more upset about the sitting than we were. Don't get me wrong, I would have much rather been rolling, but with Wednesday being a holiday that we would have sit through anyway, it was alright. We were able to reorganize our headache rack, wash clothes, and shop. We installed our lights for running oversize. We were able to handle a lot of paperwork. All in all, it was a productive week.
On the homeschooling front, we finished two books, and just progressed in everything else. We really like Sonlight because we can regularly finish things, which allows me to feel like we are doing something. I created a few pdf files so Bonnie could access her science more easily. She has really fallen in love with her kindle, and I am glad we were able to get it for her for Christmas.
I would like to thank you for taking the time to read this. Remember to try to look at the bright side. Even though the wheels didn't turn much, so we didn't earn much this week, I am alright with it because we accomplished so much in our lives. If God has you sit for a while, look inward and see if there is something you can do to improve you while you sit, our sit still and listen to Him.

Priorities

Our truck all lit up with Dallas in the background.

I know I haven't blogged in a long time. While I may have been able to carve out time to blog, truth is, I had other priorities. We have been quite busy doing a great many other things. We have switched companies, which meant we turned in our 2013 53' trailer, and bought a 2000 48' trailer. We spent a long time at home during that time. We celebrated Christmas at Thanksgiving, organized the truck, and organized the house quite a bit. We started making plans for what we would do with the house, and how we might be able to make it work.  While at home we were able to go on two homeschool outings, and finally got to meet quite a few people I have gotten to know through Facebook. It was definitely great spending time at home, and yet the road is where I feel more at home than ever.

Everywhere we go, people are amazed at what we do (homeschooling on the road). The one question asked most frequently is, "How do you do it?" I always answer the same way, prioritize. 

Isn't life in general a matter of prioritizing things? Sure, we can choose to sit in front of the television and veg out, but then we aren't putting a priority on other things, like family, health, etc. If you look at what you spend time doing throughout the day, you will see what priority drives your life. Is sitting, watching television, playing games on your phone, or any other solitary activity bad? No. However, if you claim your family is your priority, and yet you spend time locked into something that excludes your family, you aren't being honest with yourself. 

I spent a great deal of time at home getting honest with myself. I have spent the last year comparing myself to other mothers (both homeschooling moms and mothers who send their kids to school), other drivers, other wives, other business owners, and even my sisters. I have decided that I am not going to be concerned with where I measure up to someone else's measuring stick, God will only measure me according to what I was destined to be. No one else's thoughts about my life matter. I am me. Getting honest with myself has led me to really examine my priorities. I say I value family, and yet I too am guilty of excluding others. I say I value my health, and yet exercise is not something I really even want to figure out how to do on the truck. I say I value the time cooking and teaching my daughter to do the same thing, however we regularly eat out. That leads to spending money I say I desperately want to save. I say I want to write, and yet I don't. The question is how do I get things back in line?

Over the past six months there have been several people who have chosen to block out social media because it was taking over their lives. I respect those that choose to do it, because I realize this is simply a reaction to being convicted of misplaced priorities. I am not getting on that band wagon, but I am trying to continually examine what my life says about my priorities. That does mean I am going to limit my time on social media, and really looking at how my time lines up with my priorities. 

Matthew 6:24 says, “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other.” When my priorities show that I am serving myself and this world, rather than my God and my family, I know things are not right. I am thankful to have a loving God that can remind me when my life has gotten off kilter, and kindly guide me back to what is important, Him. It is because I felt His guiding that we started on the journey to homeschool. I am thankful every day he gives me the strength and time to complete schoolwork, and the many other things I have put on my plate. God is good.

As the year has changed, perhaps too will my ability to recognize when my priorities have gotten off kilter. I pray everyone reading will listen to the calm guiding when your life gets a little off track.