Weekly Update: An Excitingly Busy Week

Oh, my goodness. It's Friday already! We have had an excitingly busy week. This week started with some wonderful news that upset me as the week went on, but at this point, I have put on my big girl pants, and it will be alright. The Lord truly was looking out for us this week, and we are ever thankful for his guidance.
Saturday night we spotted Momma June and Sugarbear, along with their entourage. Since I am not a fan, I was not impressed, nor did I really see a reason they needed said entourage. (Yes I realize Saturday is really not part of this week, but it was after my last weekly update, so I thought I would share.)
Sunday, we picked up a load in Charlotte and headed to Miami. The polar vortex was coming in that direction, and we prayed to stay south of the freeze line, and luckily were able to.

The view across the runways at MIA

Monday, we delivered that load, and were amazed to get a load right out. However, as it turned out, we didn't have the space (weight-wise) to load all the wanted. Instead, we ended up doing a local and waiting for other items to clear customs so we could leave with a full trailer. We felt God kept us in Florida until the "heat wave" hit Minneapolis (our final destination), and got us out of Florida before the flooding started there. Ten stops total for the week. We are beyond thankful we got to move. While they may talk about how much better the weather is here in Minnesota, it still is pretty awful. It looks like a beautiful winter wonderland, but the fog in the dark with freezing temps is not so wonderful. Not to mention, our truck started the week all clean, and now looks like I took it through a mud hole somewhere. I hate even getting in and out of the truck because it is such a chore to not get dirty. Please Lord, let us go somewhere warmer soon so we can wash the truck!

Cleaning the runways at MSP

Bonnie was able to finish two books this week, one of which wasn't required! She really is loving her Christmas present she didn't want. Sometimes I have to remind myself she is a teenager, so I am wrong, but this week I was able to remind her of two more things I tried getting for her that she refused and now kicks herself for doing so. One is a fleece lined sweatshirt. She said she didn't like it, and wouldn't need it, and would rather have a huge parka. Well, this week she has borrowed mine several times and said how she wished she had one. "Remember, I tried talking you into getting one." She rolled her eyes and sighed. Then, she decided to borrow my fingerless gloves that flip over to become more like mittens. She again fell in love with them. "I seem to recall suggesting you get a pair, and you said you would rather have just normal gloves." She finally admitted maybe sometimes moms do know best. That is one moment I will hold onto.
Today, as we sit in the freezing cold, we are playing chess, enjoying the quiet. God has kept us safe. He has been our provider. We are blessed. As you look back on your week, I hope you too recognize God's guiding hand in it. I pray you will stay safe throughout the week to come.

Absent Parenting

When I was growing up, both of my parents were in the military. This meant lots of missed birthdays, and very few holidays or other of life’s events with our extended family. When we were able to attend a family event, it was always something to remembered, to me anyways. I enjoyed being around my cousins, of whom there are now well over thirty, and my five aunts and three uncles. Not all of our family can be in one place at one time, as a matter of fact, the last time I remember all nine of my grandmother’s children being together was when she turned eighty. While there are some within the family that would rather complain about the family, I remember always cherishing the time we had together, and enjoying the fellowship.

Among the many things we are asked about being on the road, one of them is don’t we miss our family. My family is spread from one coast to the other, and everywhere in between. We enjoy the times we can spend with family as we get close to them; however, with the distances between my family, it was rare to have true family time. My husband, on the other hand, has lived within a few hundred miles of his family all of his life. It was because of missing out on his children’s lives that he decided to stop truck driving at the time. Whenever we are asked the question, our answers used to be the same, but I fear they won’t be soon.

This week we found out my husband’s oldest son’s girlfriend is pregnant. While my eldest daughter gave us our first two grandchildren, we rarely get to see them or have much to do with them. (That situation breaks my heart, but my daughter desperately needs to be a better mother. Watching her self-destruct and take her children down with her is very heartbreaking.) My husband has trepidations about this news, mainly because the new father is still in college, and isn’t doing that well financially, but otherwise is incredibly excited. He can’t wait to be a Paw Paw. We asked if we could host the baby shower, and were immediately declined, but told we could “bring something to it if we wanted.” Furthermore, it was stated, we aren’t home enough to handle anything, and can’t be depended upon.

I immediately got upset about the reaction, and was more upset when I found out we were declined in favor of my husband’s ex-wife. I realize our job takes us away from daily life for college kids, but up until now, we really didn’t feel like we were missing anything. When we were home, and they lived at home, we rarely saw them as it was. Now, we have to make special requests just to be able to see them ever. Before we started trucking, we had spent the previous three years covering for all the broken promises she made. Believe me, when all of it was happening, and we had to be real, and then cover her lies, it was horrible. It made me thankful my children and I were thrown away. If you say you are going to do something, do it. If you can’t, you had better own up to why you can’t. It is beyond frustrating when after all we have done, including getting his car out of repossession, one simple request to host the baby shower was declined. My feelings are still very hurt.

Of course, even when we started discussing the baby shower, I revealed that my eldest daughter would end up getting upset. Every child is convinced we love someone else more. Of course, nowadays, they all agree the youngest, who is on the truck with us full time, is the most loved. One thing usually leads to another as we discuss things while one of us is driving, and this discussion was no different. We ended up talking about who had most-favored status in our family when we were growing up. And then we discussed how each child has different roles.

Later, as I drove, I reflected upon the discussion. I was struck by how different our earthly family is from our heavenly family. While none of us could ever live up to Jesus, as far as being a son or daughter of God, God loves none of us different. He loves me the same as he loved Mother Theresa. Even though I am not blessed with the knowledge or words to be able to lead thousands to Christ, my role doesn’t affect His love. God loves all of us as we are, no matter how much we show up, no matter what we look like when we do show up. He always responds with open arms, and an open heart, ready to hug us. Our absence doesn’t make him replace us with someone else. Thank you God for loving us like you do.

While my feelings are still very hurt by the attitude with regard to the baby shower, I am also realistic. I miss the days of get-togethers at our house. I miss decorating, and taking a theme to extremes (my daughter’s friends still talk about her sushi birthday – even the cupcakes looked like sushi). A party brings out the Martha Stewart in me. I will never be the same as those that are in their lives on a regular basis. We are, absent parents, and will end up being absent grandparents. We won’t love them any less, but the feeling isn’t mutual. This makes me thankful even more for a loving heavenly Father, who loves us no matter what.

I encourage all of you to enjoy any time you have with your family, enjoy your family any time you can, and most of all remember that regardless of how our earthly family treats us, our heavenly Father is always there with open arms, ready to love us.

First Week in Review

This is the first Friday of the year. Realizing my priorities were out of alignment, I decided I would at the least make time throughout the week to do one week in review. I am sure some weeks will be easy, and others very difficult.
This week brought a lot of sitting. Monday we loaded a nose cowl that is oversized. We spent until yesterday waiting for the permits so we could move. Honestly, our dispatch seemed more upset about the sitting than we were. Don't get me wrong, I would have much rather been rolling, but with Wednesday being a holiday that we would have sit through anyway, it was alright. We were able to reorganize our headache rack, wash clothes, and shop. We installed our lights for running oversize. We were able to handle a lot of paperwork. All in all, it was a productive week.
On the homeschooling front, we finished two books, and just progressed in everything else. We really like Sonlight because we can regularly finish things, which allows me to feel like we are doing something. I created a few pdf files so Bonnie could access her science more easily. She has really fallen in love with her kindle, and I am glad we were able to get it for her for Christmas.
I would like to thank you for taking the time to read this. Remember to try to look at the bright side. Even though the wheels didn't turn much, so we didn't earn much this week, I am alright with it because we accomplished so much in our lives. If God has you sit for a while, look inward and see if there is something you can do to improve you while you sit, our sit still and listen to Him.

Priorities

Our truck all lit up with Dallas in the background.

I know I haven't blogged in a long time. While I may have been able to carve out time to blog, truth is, I had other priorities. We have been quite busy doing a great many other things. We have switched companies, which meant we turned in our 2013 53' trailer, and bought a 2000 48' trailer. We spent a long time at home during that time. We celebrated Christmas at Thanksgiving, organized the truck, and organized the house quite a bit. We started making plans for what we would do with the house, and how we might be able to make it work.  While at home we were able to go on two homeschool outings, and finally got to meet quite a few people I have gotten to know through Facebook. It was definitely great spending time at home, and yet the road is where I feel more at home than ever.

Everywhere we go, people are amazed at what we do (homeschooling on the road). The one question asked most frequently is, "How do you do it?" I always answer the same way, prioritize. 

Isn't life in general a matter of prioritizing things? Sure, we can choose to sit in front of the television and veg out, but then we aren't putting a priority on other things, like family, health, etc. If you look at what you spend time doing throughout the day, you will see what priority drives your life. Is sitting, watching television, playing games on your phone, or any other solitary activity bad? No. However, if you claim your family is your priority, and yet you spend time locked into something that excludes your family, you aren't being honest with yourself. 

I spent a great deal of time at home getting honest with myself. I have spent the last year comparing myself to other mothers (both homeschooling moms and mothers who send their kids to school), other drivers, other wives, other business owners, and even my sisters. I have decided that I am not going to be concerned with where I measure up to someone else's measuring stick, God will only measure me according to what I was destined to be. No one else's thoughts about my life matter. I am me. Getting honest with myself has led me to really examine my priorities. I say I value family, and yet I too am guilty of excluding others. I say I value my health, and yet exercise is not something I really even want to figure out how to do on the truck. I say I value the time cooking and teaching my daughter to do the same thing, however we regularly eat out. That leads to spending money I say I desperately want to save. I say I want to write, and yet I don't. The question is how do I get things back in line?

Over the past six months there have been several people who have chosen to block out social media because it was taking over their lives. I respect those that choose to do it, because I realize this is simply a reaction to being convicted of misplaced priorities. I am not getting on that band wagon, but I am trying to continually examine what my life says about my priorities. That does mean I am going to limit my time on social media, and really looking at how my time lines up with my priorities. 

Matthew 6:24 says, “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other.” When my priorities show that I am serving myself and this world, rather than my God and my family, I know things are not right. I am thankful to have a loving God that can remind me when my life has gotten off kilter, and kindly guide me back to what is important, Him. It is because I felt His guiding that we started on the journey to homeschool. I am thankful every day he gives me the strength and time to complete schoolwork, and the many other things I have put on my plate. God is good.

As the year has changed, perhaps too will my ability to recognize when my priorities have gotten off kilter. I pray everyone reading will listen to the calm guiding when your life gets a little off track.

Difficult to Put to Words

How many times do we hear that an event is too difficult to put to words? I know I have heard it several times. Major events, like the birth of a child, are often described this way. I had spoken to a few people who had attended Let’s Truck’s Certified Master Contractor (CMC) Conference, and said the experience was difficult to put to words and I doubted it. How could a conference, especially a conference about trucking. Yet, here I sit, just two short days after the conference has ended finding it difficult to put the experience to words.

I knew to expect many of the same issues Kevin goes over on the show in greater detail. I had been told Larry Winget was a great speaker. I expected the negotiations portion to really push me to an uncomfortable zone. I was also told the networking with other drivers made the conference invaluable. I was not expected to really have the conference effect and challenge me in the ways it has.

We arrived in Kansas City on Thursday, and immediately ran into a few people I had been conversing, and sometimes arguing with on Facebook. By the end of the week, I hated to leave the conference. I knew we needed to get back to work, but I really felt like I really hadn’t learned all I could from all those around me. The networking was truly priceless. For those of us who listen to Kevin, we have come to know people like Jimmy the Junkman, and many had preconceived notions about him and there is no way he was like that in real life. Reality, Jimmy is a crazy smart, patient man who is willing to share his wealth of knowledge with anyone that takes the time sit with him. I cannot begin to thank him enough. Rico (or as I just called him Sauvé) not only shared his hard earned knowledge with all at the CMC, but he took time out to spend extra time with my husband. We spent a lot of time trying to teach Southern to a British Canadian, and he shared not only his business plan but his story which blew me away. Robert and his wife not only shared his knowledge, but his dedication to the industry shows in his willingness to take a younger driver under his wing and share his knowledge. There are so many more which taught me a lot, and modeled the mentoring I think is sorely needed in this industry. I was able to share a little of my knowledge and abilities with several others, but I really feel like I took so much more than I gave back.

Negotiations can be something many don’t want to attempt, and surely don’t want to learn more about, however George Gallamore made it really applicable to everyone’s life. He taught me more about me, and really made me realize why I do some of the things I do. Not only do I understand myself better, I understand my husband and much of my family a little better, so I feel his tools and information were something I needed, no matter how I dreaded it. Learning other people and learning to recognize the clues as to what type of person they are will help us in the end. While I don’t think his knowledge will help us make a decision on buying a new dishwasher, at least he now has a new couple to use as an example.

Goal setting is something I learned about while I was in the business world, but sometimes I forget those skills and don’t apply them in this business. Being reminded the steps for goal setting, and really analyzing the motives behind the goals was something I really felt we needed. I really would like to write a book, but I also know that goal is rather selfish. My husband and I have realized we really need to make a decision on our future. We need to decide on a plan that will work for us, write out goals, and make a plan to get us where we would like to be. We don’t have much time, but it is definitely needed.

Larry Winget said several things that were funny and yet made you think. One think that just made you think was, “Nothing is neutral.” In life, every decision we make either moves us towards our goals or away from them. No decision we make has no bearing on our lives. He made so many witty comments I don’t think I could ever list them all, but they all made me think about life. We definitely need to “Grow a Pair.”

There are so many more things we learned, and so much more I could write about how inspiring this conference was, but in the end my words will still not convey my true feelings of the conference. I can say, if anyone in the industry has an opportunity to be in Kansas City the first full week of May, I highly suggest making plans to attend the CMC. Many say the conference costs a lot, especially when you factor in the cost of the hotel, loss of revenue, etc. However, the investment in yourself and your business is invaluable. Bottom line, cost of the CMC: $1400, Hotel: $1000, Lost Revenue: $5000, but the CMC is truly PRICELESS!

Confession Time

I have taken quite some time off from writing, as is quite apparent. When my sister confronted me about it, I said I felt the need to have real human interaction. Truth is, I was knee deep in resistance. (I finished listening to The War of Art, and those of you who have read/listened to it will understand that comment.) Why was I resistant to write? Several reasons.
First I fear I have nothing important to say. I started this blog to share our life, and hoped I could help someone in the process. However, much of what I have written has turned into rant-fests, which I didn't want. I know no one will hang on my every word as though I was some celebrity, but sometimes it its nice to have someone appreciate your words. (I am honestly not fishing for compliments, just sharing.)
Second, I fear my words will end up hurting someone. We have recently gone through quite an ordeal in our family with my eldest daughter, and I am afraid I could easily hurt someone without intending to do so.
Third, we have been in an uproar. Not only has there been drama in our home life, but there has also been a lot of drama in our work life. Once we get those issues settled I may share more about that.
Fourth, I am afraid my words will show the failure I feel I am. I feel like a failure with respect to or business (we are operating at a loss this year). I feel like a failure with respect to homeschool (we didn't finish all I wanted). I feel like a failure as a mother (my daughter is in jail, what does that say about me). I feel I am a failure as a Christian (my prayer life has slashed and I feel alone because of it). I feel like a failure as a mentor (after feeling shunned by a fellow mentor I feel I shouldn't lead anyone, but follow others who obviously know more than I do). Most of all I feel like a failure as a wife (I have felt so down I have taken it out on my husband).
Finally, we have just been busy. I know, saying I am busy is just showing my resistance, but we really have. We have been busy researching curriculum, companies, truck upgrades, trailers, networking with new prospective coworkers, and just enjoying people when we can.
Since I last posted we have done a lot of sitting and fighting to be able to move. One of those sitting episodes involved us being able to attend the Great American Truck Show. (It was there I felt shunned by a fellow mentor, and yet was so happy to see some I feel have become friends.) My daughter rode a bull at Gilley's, and I was proud of her 23 second ride. We got to learn quite a bit from people at the show, and get tired out doing so. We had quite a few people enjoy our truck, which made me feel proud.
I really don't mean this to be a pity party, I just really wanted to share why I have been silent. I hope those who love me will pray I somehow get out of this funk and break the resistance to writing.

Home Safety Compromised

"We came to mow the lawn and noticed your back door was standing wide open. Is it supposed to be?"

"No."

"Do you mind if we just step inside and see if there is anything obvious missing?"

"Please do."

"Did you have a television in the living room?"

"Yes, a big 73" DLP."

"Well, you don't now."

That is the phone conversation that led to us being forced to come home. We delivered some thrust reversers in Wichita, Kansas, and decided we couldn't leave. Unfortunately, given my eldest daughter's choice in a boyfriend, we immediately suspected she was involved. We got in touch with all the other kids, and asked if someone went out and left the door open, if someone gave my eldest the code to the door, or if we were in fact broken into by someone not in our family. Our son went to the house later that evening and confirmed, the television was gone, as were our video games and some paraphernalia, my jewelry box, my husband's jewelry, speakers, car audio, some old cell phones, some alcohol, some collectibles, a truck GPS, and about $8,000 worth of tools. In addition, they left us a couple presents in the toilet, which they couldn't flush because we turn off the water when we are gone. Since it was more than just the television, we really didn't think my daughter could choose to hurt us that badly. We decided it MUST be someone else.

The speaker taken out of the speaker box

An empty tool drawer.

The stand for our 73" television with the missing games.

We got home late Tuesday night, and decided to wait until Wednesday to really look at the damage. We had been cleaned out of most things. The thieves got away with the keys to the car, and stole quite a few other keys as well. They opened every drawer, and went through everything. We had the crime lab come out and dust for prints, which sadly revealed nothing. We did, however find cigarette butts outside which were not ours. The detective that came out asked if we originally suspected anyone, so they could run that through their database to see if they could find anything. They would take the DNA from the butts to see if they could find anything.

The next day we got a call letting us know my daughter pawned a ring and a scan tool, both of which we suspected immediately came from our home. We spent the rest of the time trying to gather more information. My middle daughter came out to see what we had discovered. We found out a few more pieces of information. The whole time we tried to ensure my daughter signed a power of attorney so my mother could take the kids to Colorado. 

Friday, led to my daughter's questioning, and eventual arrest.We drove about 40 miles to identify my engagement ring and ring guard, as well as the scan tool. We found out the lies my daughter was telling. She told the inspector she got the ring and scan tool from some guy at a hotel who asked her to pawn the items. She told my mother the ring wasn't mine, and tried to change the description. When we looked at my ring, it solidified the fact my daughter was involved. We also found out her boyfriend was a VERY bad person who has a substantive wrap sheet full of multiple counts of breaking and entering. In addition, most of the pawn shops will not accept things from him because they are aware most of it is stolen.

Saturday brought lots of laughter and joy. We celebrated my grandchildrens' birthdays.Four generations were under my daughter's roof at one time, and there was no arguing, only lots of hugs, kisses, infectious laughter, and enjoyment.

Four generations together. From L to R my daughter Kristen, me, my mother holding my granddaughter Akasha, my youngest daughter Bonnie, and my sister Melissa.

Akasha is happy she got blocks of her very own!

Chase opening his favorite toy

Chase has a big rig of his very own

Who cares if the tag is still on, and it isn't on right, Akasha is a princess.

The only good part of the cupcake is the icing!

He likes the whole thing, and loves having cake face.

I'm not peeking at my presents.

Pizza face smiles.

While our home will never truly feel safe again, and no matter where we go, I have to disable the car, because the thieves took keys to our car, our home, and so many things, it was great to be able to hear laughter. My eldest is sitting in jail. Her kids are safe. As difficult as it is, I cannot allow my disappointment in my daughter to affect her innocent children. She and her boyfriend have torn apart our life, but her children had nothing to do with it. I will prosecute my daughter to the fullest extent of the law, and make sure we are at as many court hearings we can possibly attend. Tough love is tough, and yet it is so necessary.