Clearing the Foggy Attitude

Yesterday as I drove from Illinois into Memphis TN, I drove through some fog and thought about how this fog was like my attitude. I have been trying desperately to not write about my frustrations and turn this into a vent, so I have held much of it in. I have not discussed my frustrations with a screwed up Christmas or our blown turbo. Believe me this year hasn't started much better than last year began. As a result my attitude has become as dreary as a foggy landscape.
It hit me as I was making that drive. Sometimes being foggy is okay. It is in these times I keep my head focused on what is right ahead of me. Can I see miles ahead? No. Sometimes I cannot see more than a few hundred feet. The focus needed to make it through just a few miles is difficult at times, but when you make it where you need to be, you realize you have accomplished something.
In our trucking life I have grumbled, and let my inner grumblings affect my attitude. However, I had to really to stop and consider we have paid off several things, and now our work will be more in our pocket, than paying off bills. We had a bump with our turbo literally blowing apart, but now we have a new turbo, new air filters and new brakes. We are getting somewhere, just slowly and still unable to see beyond our immediate future.
On the homeschooling front, this month brings semester reports. I discovered how far we have come. We should meet attendance goal by April. Boo is really enjoying reading. Let me say that again. BOO IS ENJOYING READING!!! I prayed this day would come. Thank you Lord for answering my prayers.
On a personal note, I have long prayed for a way to use my piece of paper I spent 17 years to complete. (I have an Accounting degree that is only useful to our family.) I am still praying, but with the help of a radio visionary, my prayers may be getting answered. I don't want to share too much but I ask you prày His will be done in this situation.
We are two weeks into the new year. Before too long the first month will be over, and time will speed by faster than we imagine. I still can't see much beyond our immediate future, but I am thankful for this time we have just kept our nose to the grindstone and can now look up and appreciate the distance we have come. My foggy attitude is clearing, but I will just keep focusing on the immediate future and being thankful for each little mile marker we pass.

Presents

I have talked about labeling and wrapping presents. Now, I want to address how the presents themselves are one of my favorite things.
At one point I used to spend the better part of the year buying things for people in my life and storing them until Christmas. This was a suggestion from my favorite Grandmother. She bought things from the clearance rack and stored them until Christmas. My Grandmother is one of the wisest women I know.
If I saw something, like an owl for my mother, I bought it. Before Black Friday, I would take inventory of the gifts, and make a list of the holes I needed to fill. I remember once I had all of my Christmas shopping done in September, so I didn't have to get anything else.
Now, we live life in a "rolling closet," and things are so different. I still enjoy finding something at one of our stops that I believe will be enjoyed and buying it. Sadly we don't always have the cashflow to do that, so many times I just make a note of where something was I would like to get. Being able to give my mother-in-law something from the southwest for her southwest bedroom is nice.
One thing this life has taught me is the one most important gift anyone can give is themselves. Our time, and our energy is something no one else can give. We have missed out on time with our grandparents, our parents, our children and our grandchildren. We cannot do anything about these missed opportunities. However, we can make the most of any time we can carve.
When you are making your gift list, remember to include yourself as a gift to those close to you. You are a gift that will forever be treasured.

Labels

This time of year brings to mind several favorite things. No, I won’t break into song to list them (although I could do that with the mood I am in); I will take time to talk about one of them today. One of my favorite things is wrapping and labeling presents. Today, I just want to touch on the labeling portion.

After the presents are wrapped, I love to come up with creative labeling options and creative ways to label the presents. I have used ornaments to label the presents (the ornaments had the kids’ names on them), old Christmas card cutouts with the labeling on the back, store bought labels, and even pieces of wrapping paper. I usually try to think about the labeling while I am shopping, and will try to get labels to coordinate with the wrapping paper if I am going to use store bought labels. It is a big deal (in my mind) to label presents appropriately, considering the person and the gift. In the end, that label ends up being read quickly, some figure out the cryptic clues, and anxiously toss the label aside.

Today as I was driving, I started thinking about the various labels we have, and the labels we put on others. Our parents could have labeled us things like lazy, selfish, or slow; or they may have given us a great label like beautiful, gifted, or generous. Teachers label students on their report cards with words like talkative, bright, lacks attention, fidgety, or a joy. Sisters and brothers label us a pain, silly, dumb, or self-centered. Other family members come up with their own labels as well.

Society labels us in a few different ways. They label us by our job (truck driver, accountant, teacher, cop, etc.), and from that label us further based on stereotypes or history. They label us by our looks (pretty, tall, nerdy, ugly, etc.). They label us the same as the company we keep, whether they know them or not. They label us by our car, or lack thereof, neighborhood, hometown, or even our current state of residence (dumb redneck Alabamian).

Just like words spoken to someone, once a person is treated like their label, it can harm them. However, what if we choose to see the labels not as a “scarlet letter,” but as a badge of honor.

Yes, I am a truck driver. I am not a dirty, rude, unorganized idiot. Cleanliness is important to me, and anyone who has been in our truck knows it is organized (sometimes organized chaos, but organized the same). I do not believe I am an idiot.

I am a mother, a step-mother, a grandmother, a grand daughter, a sister, a niece, and a cousin. I am a homeschool teacher. I am our accountant and tax preparer. I am a writer (whether anyone else reads what I write or not). I am these things and so much more.  These are labels I choose to wear proudly.

What about the labels we are given by God? I am blessed. I am forgiven. I am a friend. I am beautiful. I am graceful (believe me I have to claim that one a lot). I am healthy. I am rich (another I claim a lot). I am strong.

We can look at any label in a positive or negative way. If someone has labeled you negatively, I challenge you to look at how you can turn that on its head. Even if you can’t change someone’s mind about a preconceived notion, have faith that you are worthy of seeing yourself in the best light. Remember, you are a special creation, labeled as only our Creator can label anyone.

November thus far

I had all these grand plans for November (posting something I was thankful for each day), and then we came home. Even when I tried to catch up, things got in the way and I never seemed to be able to write. Oh how I miss writing. So,instead of catching up on thankfulness,because it really would seem silly to me, I am just going to vent about this hectic month that has really been rather productive.
We came home in time to celebrate my last daughter to become a teenager. It was great to share the baking with my middle daughter. It was nice to then have my sister come and wish her a happy birthday. Family time is great.
We have been able to start really focusing on school. I so enjoy reading with my daughter,and discussing things with her. Every time I see her really show an understanding of any subject, it is a blessing. She is really excited about her science curriculum because she cannot wait to dissect things. We are using Sonlight for most subjects, Teaching Textbook for Math, and Apologia for General Science. All of it fits so well together it is amazing. You would almost think I spent a long time debating what curriculum I was going to use. While I did spend a long time deciding on the Core curriculum, the science wasn't even ordered until October. I have plans for how we are going to make it through to the end of the school year while having the required attendance days. It will take some work, but I am sure we can do it.
We have been able to make some modifications to the truck. We have talked for three years about adding an Oil Purification System to the truck. It is finally on the truck. We have extra filters, so our maintenance costs will go down significantly. We are excited about that. The harmonic balancer has been replaced and we can already tell a difference in the smoothness of the drive. We added balance beads to the tires as well, so that has helped too. We have added a shelf for the printer and computers, one for Boo, and another for general stuff. Things are organized, which makes me happy. We replaced the microwave, which makes me happy too. We updated the GPS,and replaced most of the sound system. We also added an in motion satellite, and have started recording some educational programs. Now not only can we watch football (now that the season is almost over), but also things to go with schoolwork or just be informative.
On the business front, I was able to sort through a lot of paperwork, scan things, properly file paperwork, and catch up our bookkeeping. While I am upset to look at the taxable income, and see we are still below the poverty line, I have to remember all we are doing is not only for the business, but also for our family. I also have to remember in a year and a half the truck will be paid off, at which point our taxable income will go up. In addition, it means the kids continue to go to college for cheap.
As I look forward, I am not going to make any grand promises, because it is obvious my priorities aren't revolved around this blog. I am sorry to those who follow this and were looking forward to more regular posts, but I will write when I can or when I need to vent. I pray all who read are well, and I am thankful you spend your precious time reading my venting. I pray you have a blessed holiday season.