Sunday, March 24, 2013

"No" is NOT Easy to Say

Some days I feel my children think "no" is the easiest thing in the world to say. I remember Momma tell me, it is easy to just go along with what their children want, but it is difficult to tell them, "No." I remember when she said it, I thought she was just making things seem harder than they were. As an adult of adult children, now I honestly see the validity in what she said. I hope before it is too long, my children can see the same thing. When my two oldest kids were teenagers, I was the only one who disciplined them. Yes, their fathers have been absent from their lives, but I had "help" from my mother. However, my mother was basically setting me up. When I would tell the kids no, she would just go behind my back and give them whatever I said no to. That included dogs, phones, clothes, nearly anything. This included lying to me about saying yes, and lying to me about the specifics. It led to my middle daughter being involved with a married man when she was barely a teenager, and allowing my eldest daughter to continuously interact with a man twelve years older than her, when she was just sixteen. Neither of these things were acceptable with me. Now, I suppose my daughter's lives are ok because my mother has accepted, and even condoned, what they are doing. Their decisions are not acceptable with me.I don't really want to go over all of what has happened, but their choices have changed me. I have had to say no to my middle daughter who wanted to move back home, because she wasn't willing to give up a cat that pees where it wants when she is not around. I have had to say no to her borrowing my car because she has not taken care of hers. I have had to say no to my eldest daughter moving back home because our house has a couple of walls down due to issues with the plumbing, and frankly it is not ok for my grandchildren to be there right now. I have had found out my eldest daughter has lied to me at every turn. I have also found out my eldest daughter is a stripper. I have found out my little sister would much rather cause drama than to be an adult. My life has changed over the last few days, all because I have found out these things. Mark 10:25 says, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God." While, this scripture has long been identified as dealing with not treasuring your money, I would contend it deals with so much more. Not only are we not to treasure our money, but we must submit to God wholly. Submitting to God is not easy. Sometimes, God says no, not because of any other reason than because it is not what is best for us. God is much like a parent, who doesn't like saying "no," but knows they have to because they must consider what is best. 
Is it best for my daughter to be at home, possibly. However, I know that just saving her, and not forcing her to stand on her own to feet is not what is best. I have to remember, if my daughter would have just cleaned her room, and done what we asked, she would have still been at home. Is it best for my daughter to be a stripper, definitely not! While my mother seems to just see it as "dancing," I remember it opens the door to so much more. No matter what she does, or any of my children for any matter, I will still love them. Doing what is good and right is not easy, but it is what SHOULD be done.

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