"I am glad I am homeschooled."

I had a lot of things flowing in my head unable to find the time to get the ideas from my head to this white surface. I have really been trying to be purposeful about what I share. Then, the horrible tragedy at Sandy Hook happened. When I woke up from my nap (I was asleep when it happened), the first words from my daughter's mouth were, "I am glad I am homeschooled. I don't ever want to go to a public school again."
I don't share that because homeschooling is the answer for everyone, believe me it is hard work. I don't share that because I feel we are somehow safe, I know tragedy can happen anywhere to anyone. I share her words only because they were her words in response to the saddening news (she was literally crying about it). I struggled with sharing her words, and keep coming back to them.
While I am glad she expressed those feelings, and feels bad for the families, I know there will come a point those feelings will fade. At some point, most of America will forget the tragedy, and only remember it when it is brought up later. This tragedy will change several families forever, but not all of us. At some point the same old family arguments will happen throughout the country, we will forget just how quickly things can change.
I struggled sharing anything on the tragedy because I struggle with the why. I don't understand why no matter what your issue is with your parents or your mental issues, why take that out on innocence. So many innocent lives have been taken, and blame is placed on so many things. Why did this happen?
This morning I heard Mike Huckabee say (I will quote as best I can), "How can we hope to have a moral society in a Godless vacuum?" How true. No matter how little sense we will ever make of this tragedy, I have to remember this Godless vacuum so many are pushing for is one of the reasons I always wanted to homeschool. How can anyone expect children to have a heart for others if they are in a electronic induced fantasy world filled with selfishness and slaughter? No, that is not a slam on video games in entirety. However, so many parents allow video games, television, computers, and public school to take the place of any sort of family time.
Why do we homeschool? Yes it is because we drive a truck, but so much more. We homeschool because I have long believed this education system is failing our children. I believe the cliches that I remember only in middle and high school have invaded the elementary schools and with it the sexual promiscuity that does not belong. We homeschool because we want to be together. We homeschool for these reasons and so many more. Every day we are reminded of why we do this, and become more thankful we do.
While my daughter can be hugged daily, so can most others. Hug your children. Teach them to be moral. Spend time with them. Pray with them. Pray for them. There are families who cannot do these things any longer. The most important thing we can ever give our children is our time, and they deserve more of our time and our prayers.

Presents

I have talked about labeling and wrapping presents. Now, I want to address how the presents themselves are one of my favorite things.
At one point I used to spend the better part of the year buying things for people in my life and storing them until Christmas. This was a suggestion from my favorite Grandmother. She bought things from the clearance rack and stored them until Christmas. My Grandmother is one of the wisest women I know.
If I saw something, like an owl for my mother, I bought it. Before Black Friday, I would take inventory of the gifts, and make a list of the holes I needed to fill. I remember once I had all of my Christmas shopping done in September, so I didn't have to get anything else.
Now, we live life in a "rolling closet," and things are so different. I still enjoy finding something at one of our stops that I believe will be enjoyed and buying it. Sadly we don't always have the cashflow to do that, so many times I just make a note of where something was I would like to get. Being able to give my mother-in-law something from the southwest for her southwest bedroom is nice.
One thing this life has taught me is the one most important gift anyone can give is themselves. Our time, and our energy is something no one else can give. We have missed out on time with our grandparents, our parents, our children and our grandchildren. We cannot do anything about these missed opportunities. However, we can make the most of any time we can carve.
When you are making your gift list, remember to include yourself as a gift to those close to you. You are a gift that will forever be treasured.

Wrapping and Other Efforts

As I mentioned previously, one of my favorite things about the holiday season is the gift wrapping. I love picking the wrapping paper, bags, tissue, boxes, ribbons and bows. I enjoy the challenge of wrapping difficult items. We even enjoy trying to fool people as to their true present. (My husband hid my engagement ring in the jewelry box I requested.) Wrapping is something I truly enjoy.
No matter how I enjoy the wrapping, the effort is short-lived. My weapon to ensure my efforts last a little longer,  TAPE! Oh how I love to use tape. My sister knows how I love to use tape and prepares by getting a knife out to use during opening. Even still, my time and efforts end up in a trash bag.
How many of our efforts in life end up in the same fashion? I know I am not the only one who feels like my efforts are all for naught. Ever cleaned a room only to come back two minutes later and find someone has made a mess. I HATE laundry laying around, and yet unless we were to go naked, there will always be more laundry.
While my efforts may be short-lived in so many ways, some efforts seem fruitless. I have been praying for the ability to meet my sister, Faith. However, every time I get close to her, something happens and we don't end up meeting. I have faith we will meet, and so I will continue praying and trying. I know my prayers are not ignored, simply it isn't the time yet for the prayers to be fulfilled.
While I could easily just put the presents in bags, taking much less time, it takes away some of my joy doing so. I look at so many other fruitless activities in the same light. Our efforts may seem fruitless, some seem burdensome, others joyful, but we must have faith each effort has implications beyond our current sight.
Before giving up on any effort, I challenge you to consider the rewards for continuing as you have. If there is something you can do differently to glean more joy, do so. Never stop wrapping presents just because your efforts seem wasted.

Labels

This time of year brings to mind several favorite things. No, I won’t break into song to list them (although I could do that with the mood I am in); I will take time to talk about one of them today. One of my favorite things is wrapping and labeling presents. Today, I just want to touch on the labeling portion.

After the presents are wrapped, I love to come up with creative labeling options and creative ways to label the presents. I have used ornaments to label the presents (the ornaments had the kids’ names on them), old Christmas card cutouts with the labeling on the back, store bought labels, and even pieces of wrapping paper. I usually try to think about the labeling while I am shopping, and will try to get labels to coordinate with the wrapping paper if I am going to use store bought labels. It is a big deal (in my mind) to label presents appropriately, considering the person and the gift. In the end, that label ends up being read quickly, some figure out the cryptic clues, and anxiously toss the label aside.

Today as I was driving, I started thinking about the various labels we have, and the labels we put on others. Our parents could have labeled us things like lazy, selfish, or slow; or they may have given us a great label like beautiful, gifted, or generous. Teachers label students on their report cards with words like talkative, bright, lacks attention, fidgety, or a joy. Sisters and brothers label us a pain, silly, dumb, or self-centered. Other family members come up with their own labels as well.

Society labels us in a few different ways. They label us by our job (truck driver, accountant, teacher, cop, etc.), and from that label us further based on stereotypes or history. They label us by our looks (pretty, tall, nerdy, ugly, etc.). They label us the same as the company we keep, whether they know them or not. They label us by our car, or lack thereof, neighborhood, hometown, or even our current state of residence (dumb redneck Alabamian).

Just like words spoken to someone, once a person is treated like their label, it can harm them. However, what if we choose to see the labels not as a “scarlet letter,” but as a badge of honor.

Yes, I am a truck driver. I am not a dirty, rude, unorganized idiot. Cleanliness is important to me, and anyone who has been in our truck knows it is organized (sometimes organized chaos, but organized the same). I do not believe I am an idiot.

I am a mother, a step-mother, a grandmother, a grand daughter, a sister, a niece, and a cousin. I am a homeschool teacher. I am our accountant and tax preparer. I am a writer (whether anyone else reads what I write or not). I am these things and so much more.  These are labels I choose to wear proudly.

What about the labels we are given by God? I am blessed. I am forgiven. I am a friend. I am beautiful. I am graceful (believe me I have to claim that one a lot). I am healthy. I am rich (another I claim a lot). I am strong.

We can look at any label in a positive or negative way. If someone has labeled you negatively, I challenge you to look at how you can turn that on its head. Even if you can’t change someone’s mind about a preconceived notion, have faith that you are worthy of seeing yourself in the best light. Remember, you are a special creation, labeled as only our Creator can label anyone.

This Week In Review

After spending a bit too much time at home, we finally returned to having to scratch lines (we are thankfully still on paper logs). We have went to Atlanta, San Antonio, Brunswick, back to Atlanta, and now are sitting down in Miami. (Above is the landing gear we took from San Antonio to Brunswick). We are literally sitting next to the runway. Only a few times have the airplanes honestly bothered us, so I really don't understand why people complain about airplane noise. Surely if we can get used to the noise sitting right next to the runway for the busiest cargo airport in the world, others who buy a home near an airport can do the same.

We are right now "sitting" for a couple who was able to rent an Indian while we are stuck here. There are actually two couples that rented motorcycles. The top two pictures are the motorcycles they rented. The bottom is the motorcycle with side car they came to pick them up in. While we would love to do the same, we know there will come a time we can do the same.
While we were at home, we bought a crockpot that can sit in the sink and has a locking lid and crockpot liners. I have been able to fix a few meals in the crockpot. Those crockpot liners are a lifesaver since I don't really like washing something that is the same size as the sink, it ends up being a mess. I have a plan for our meals for the rest of the week, which is great since we are going to be a little short on cash until the new year thanks to the way the pay runs.

While we were at home, my hubby got his Christmas present a little early. My Christmas present last year was a fuzzy puppy named Ginger (or Gingerbread Latte, now called GiGi). She now has a "sister." Skittles is a 3 pound Chihuahua we got from a breeder who decided she was too small to breed. She is great. Our new addition is a bundle of attitude, and gives my husband something small to love on that reminds him of his PooPoo that died over three years ago. The two get along pretty well, but when it comes to sleepy time the two don't want to have anything to do with each other.

We have enjoyed some georgous sunrises and sunsets. We have been able to accomplish a few things. My brain is still a bit overwhelmed with the changes that have happened. Some days It seems like too much, but then I remember to just pray for strength. I know I am not doing anything alone. I can do this with Christ's help.

Back to "Normal"

After more time than planned at home, we have our first couple of loads. Getting back in the groove of driving is difficult at first. I hardly made it through five hours without scaring myself due to how tired I got. I really enjoy our core curriculum. Yesterday we enjoyed BBQ from our new microwave. Today I think I will start a roast and go to sleep. I hope to not wake up until San Antonio.

November thus far

I had all these grand plans for November (posting something I was thankful for each day), and then we came home. Even when I tried to catch up, things got in the way and I never seemed to be able to write. Oh how I miss writing. So,instead of catching up on thankfulness,because it really would seem silly to me, I am just going to vent about this hectic month that has really been rather productive.
We came home in time to celebrate my last daughter to become a teenager. It was great to share the baking with my middle daughter. It was nice to then have my sister come and wish her a happy birthday. Family time is great.
We have been able to start really focusing on school. I so enjoy reading with my daughter,and discussing things with her. Every time I see her really show an understanding of any subject, it is a blessing. She is really excited about her science curriculum because she cannot wait to dissect things. We are using Sonlight for most subjects, Teaching Textbook for Math, and Apologia for General Science. All of it fits so well together it is amazing. You would almost think I spent a long time debating what curriculum I was going to use. While I did spend a long time deciding on the Core curriculum, the science wasn't even ordered until October. I have plans for how we are going to make it through to the end of the school year while having the required attendance days. It will take some work, but I am sure we can do it.
We have been able to make some modifications to the truck. We have talked for three years about adding an Oil Purification System to the truck. It is finally on the truck. We have extra filters, so our maintenance costs will go down significantly. We are excited about that. The harmonic balancer has been replaced and we can already tell a difference in the smoothness of the drive. We added balance beads to the tires as well, so that has helped too. We have added a shelf for the printer and computers, one for Boo, and another for general stuff. Things are organized, which makes me happy. We replaced the microwave, which makes me happy too. We updated the GPS,and replaced most of the sound system. We also added an in motion satellite, and have started recording some educational programs. Now not only can we watch football (now that the season is almost over), but also things to go with schoolwork or just be informative.
On the business front, I was able to sort through a lot of paperwork, scan things, properly file paperwork, and catch up our bookkeeping. While I am upset to look at the taxable income, and see we are still below the poverty line, I have to remember all we are doing is not only for the business, but also for our family. I also have to remember in a year and a half the truck will be paid off, at which point our taxable income will go up. In addition, it means the kids continue to go to college for cheap.
As I look forward, I am not going to make any grand promises, because it is obvious my priorities aren't revolved around this blog. I am sorry to those who follow this and were looking forward to more regular posts, but I will write when I can or when I need to vent. I pray all who read are well, and I am thankful you spend your precious time reading my venting. I pray you have a blessed holiday season.

Thankful for the Ability to Vote

Today is the day I tell my children is very important, and gives you the right to complain for the rest of the time. It is Election Day. I don't always participate in every election, because let's face it, that would be a difficult proposition with our jobs. However, I vote in the major elections. My husband had never registered to vote before he met me. I made it a point to tell our son once he turned 18, which was almost two months before Election Day in 2008, he needed to register. I ended up filling out both cards, and just having my son and husband sign them so they could vote. Now, my husband listens to so much and tries his best to be fair to both sides.
I can remember the first election in which I could participate. It was the first Clinton/Gore term. We were on very hard times. We could only get a few channels on television, and many other things were more important than cable. I became engulfed in the wave of enthusiasm behind Clinton. I went to a few rallies in South Carolina. I wanted Clinton to win, and was excited when he did. Our son also got caught up in the Obama enthusiasm.
I remember when the impeachment proceedings started. I remember being almost ashamed I had voted for this man who was so different than the one I thought I voted into office. It was a tremendous let down. I started paying more attention to the differing sides. I began to take Rush Limbaugh a little more seriously (I had made fun of him during the first election). I guess you could say if it had not been for the whole fiasco with Monica Lewinski, I probably would still be just caught up in the speeches and not looking into the issues.
When we were at home, I would make sure to read as much as I could get my hands on about any issue or person that would be appearing on the ballot. Now, the internet makes that so much easier. You can see the arguments for or against any issue very quickly. I am very aware both of those view will be slanted, but I try to discern what is being said and make what I feel is the best choice. However, like I tell our son, even if I don't agree with your choice, if you vote you earn the right to complain about those things on the ballot.
Our country was founded on Biblical beliefs. We are a Christian nation. Yes, we accept those from other beliefs into the country, and do not expect them to become Christian. Today we have the privilege of voting for the first Mormon as a presidential candidate. Some would argue they are not Christian, but anyone who's slogan is "Vote for Love of Country" is really wanting us to vote for this great ideal that became America. We live in the best country in the world. As any country, it is filled with people from all walks of life, and the government ends up being as imperfect as the members of the country. None of us are perfect. And, regardless of how I vote on several issues, there may be unforeseen consequences to that vote, however others have fought for the right to vote.
I am thankful for the right to vote, and I encourage anyone who can to vote.

Thankfulness

It was my intention to say something I was thankful for each day in my blog, and then life comes along and so many more things become important than posting in a blog. In an attempt to catch up, I am going to list things I meant to say I was thankful for, but never did.
I am thankful for family. This week I have been fortunate enough to spend time with several different members of my family. Whenever we are home, I am thankful for that time. I am thankful God has blessed me with so many different family members who add so much to my life.
I am thankful for my husband. Without my husband, I certainly would not be where I am, and we would spend SO much more trying to get things done to the truck. He is a great mechanic, a terrific help mate (especially when my English doesn't match someone else's), a great lover, and my best friend. I have been through so much crap and now I can truly appreciate the man he is.
I am thankful for God. God works in so many different ways to make things easier, and to always have a rock to lean on when things are tough. God and prayer are definitely a blessing.
I am thankful for technology. Technology makes homeschooling so much easier, staying in touch easier, and so many other things.
Now that I have "caught up," I hope to be able to continue the rest of the month as I should have.

Thankful for my Phone

Last year my sister did a blogpost a day about different things she was thankful for. She calls November her month of thankfulness. I loved the idea, and decided I really wanted to do the same.
I realize it may be silly to start with, but I really am thankful for my phone. Now that cell phones are so common, have you ever tried to find a pay phone? I remember one day we were at home, my phone died, and I had no charger, I went to five different gas stations looking for a working pay phone. It was so difficult I almost gave up. My phone was my life line, and it had been rendered useless.
While my phone is capable of communication via speech, it is also capable of so much more. I text more than talk (it seems so much less intrusive on people's lives), and my phone lets me do this. These two things are all my first cellphone would let me do, but now it is a minicomputer. I listen to music, watch movies, listen to or read books, take pictures, follow facebook and twitter, study the bible, post this blogpost, and so much more. It is incredible how I depend on my phone. I am sure I am not alone.
While the first item I am thankful for may seem silly, trust me I would be lost without it, but am very thankful I have it when I am lost.

Tut, tut. It looks like rain.

Apparently I am the only one who knows what movie that line comes from. I feel like a little black rain cloud right now, and would love something sweet (like honey).

Today, I drove into Miami just as Hurricane Sandy hit Cuba. Two things that normally don't go well together are Floridians and rain. Every time I drive into Miami in the rain I am amazed at the wrecks. You add gusty winds to the rain, and throw that at morning traffic, let's just say NOT GOOD.

So here we sit in Miami, watching bands of Sandy pass, praying for safety, and arranging to meet friends to get rid of stuff we don't need, but they do, and it is taking up VERY precious space, what happens? The phone rings. Air China is flying a plane with defective landing gear from LAX to JFK. Who needs landing gear to fly a plane? Noone. You only need it when you land. What could possibly go wrong? They could fall off the runway into the Hudson and Manhattan. Who cares, right? I care, not only because it makes no sense, but because IT MESSES UP MY PLANS!!!!! Now not only can I not get rid of unnecessary stuff, I also cannot get good Louisiana boudin. Uuuuugggghhhhh!!!!!
Plans seem to get messed up quite a bit in life. If things went according to my plan, I don't think I would have had my two oldest children or have went through the rapes, abuse, and adulterous relationships. I wouldn't be where I am. I surely would not have driven into bands of a hurricane in a truck. It is days like these when I am reminded that even in the rainy days I would rather not be in that I am reminded this time will be rewarded by God with His plans for me. In the movie the title came from (I know it, I am still waiting to see if ANYONE else does), Pooh did not plan on becoming a rain cloud, that only happened because things didn't work out his way. I am reminding myself of this, as I challenge anyone reading, don't concentrate on YOUR broken plans, have faith this is all part of HIS plans, and we are all thankful God's ways are not our own.

Feeling out of sorts

We recently got a new harness for the dog, and it goes on her differently than the old one. This one she can also reach a lot easier, so she tends to chew on it. As a result we take it off her after she goes out. Putting the harness on her, and taking it off makes her do what she had always done before. She is still learning the new way to do things. This makes her feel out of sorts.
Last night we decided to watch the latter part of the Alabama vs. Tennessee game. Anyone from either state knows the third Saturday in October holds a very heated rivalry. Given Alabama's domination in the past few years, we expected Alabama to win, but knew it had the potential to be a good first half. The game was being broadcast on ESPN, so we could not watch it in the truck. We spent the first half listening to it. When the third quarter seemed like it was going to be a pretty good quarter, we decided to go in and finish watching.
As I stood watching, and yes yelling, at the game (my kids will tell you I can be louder than most men when I watch football), I slowly realized I was the only one yelling. Now, let me remind you we were watching Tennessee (unranked) up against Alabama (#1) in a truck stop (lots of men) in New Jersey. I knew we would be one of a few, but I guess I wasn't expecting to be the only one yelling at the game. I was THE ONLY woman watching the game, and I was the one yelling. Talk about feeling out of sorts. I turned to my husband and told him what I just realized, he said it is OK, that is who you are.
Some of the guys heard and laughed. As Alabama continued to dominate, the channel got turned to a much closer game, Florida State at Miami. We began to talk football. As usual, someone turns the conversation from college to pro, and I continued to stay with the guys on the conversation. Most of my family will understand and say again, that is just me. 
Many times throughout our lives, choosing to be true to yourself will make you feel alone in your doing so. I drive OTR. I am one of the few women in this industry who total approximately 12%. I am half of a husband/wife team, and for whatever reason that trims away quite a few women as well. I am a homeschooling mom, now you are talking about one of a handful. I realize no matter how you slice it, I am in the minority, but sometimes it feels weird.
Chances are all of us do something that makes us feel in the minority. Whether it is praying, sharing your faith (even with someone you would have thought was a a believer), sharing your story, or simply choosing to drive the speed limit, there are many times throughout the day I feel alone in what I am doing. I know I am not. I know I have friends who are in the same "alone" feeling. And, I know I will always have my true partner, my husband. It is just weird sometimes.
It says in Galatians 6:9 "And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not." (Sometimes I have to look at the Amplified as well to see more translations and get a better look at things, which reads "And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint.") This verse gives me comfort so many times. If I just keep being me, just keep doing good, just keep on the road God has laid before me, I will persevere  I just need to keep doing it. Just keep praying, just keep sharing, just keep teaching, just keep being safe, and just keep believing that in the end He will work it all out. Whether you are struggling with a change in your life, or struggling as a minority, just keep doing good, and you will make it through. 

Plans

So many times throughout the day, as I drive, I start thinking and making plans. Most of these plans are simple things like where I am going to stop to go to the bathroom, take the dog out, or check the load. However, there are many times I start thinking of things a little further off. Blogging was a plan. I planned on having time to sit down, type on the phone or on the laptop and publish whatever was happening that day, or week, or whatever. What happened? Life. I can't always break out the computer, because sometimes I need to sleep, and even my desire to write on a more regular basis is more important than sleep!

While most make their goals at the beginning of the year, I am choosing to start writing my plans, now. I know, how silly, but in the next couple of weeks our life will get turned on its head again, before it can settle down. I feel maybe having this to remind me of my grand plans will help, and I will hope someone (maybe my friend and driving buddy, or my sister) will hold me accountable for some of what I write (since both are fellow bloggers). I know having an "accountability partner" creates success for so many things, and hopefully just someone asking how are you doing with..... will help me. 

For my blog, I plan to follow in my sister's steps and for the entire month of November I will recognize something I am thankful for. I also plan to recognize different Godly women in my blog on the 31st of each month (I know kind of silly, but since we all strive to be Proverbs 31 women, I thought it would be kind of appropriate). Along the way, I plan to share more of the many things I have been meaning to say, and yet have not.

For homeschool, we get to have Bonnie come back on the truck at the end of the month. I plan on sharing all the wonderful things I have been reading in her books, and discussing things with her. We will probably take a few days and discuss nothing but the election, its implications, and I even have a book thought of to share with her.

For the dog, I plan on really working with her on training and learning to be quiet. If you have ever met our dog you can see why that will be an issue. She thinks the world should love her and play with her, and most do.

For our finances, I want to have the "emergency fund" fully established by March 31, 2013 (end of 1st quarter). I plan on paying off at least two bills within the next quarter. We have really come far in that now we are caught up! Again, those in the trucking industry will understand how many times it is difficult to say that.

For the truck, I plan on having our sleeper extension plans developed and a price tag set by the end of the year, so we can figure out how to save for it in the budget. We plan on doing things like installing EcoPur and a few other things when we go home. Hopefully those things will help our comfort, and expenses ($300 oil changes about every 3 weeks is getting pretty expensive). 

For some reason, I thought I had thought of so much more before, and now I can't remember it. Guess it must be that sleep thing I need to do. So, with that I will close for now. I would love any advice on how to keep with my plans. 

What I Have Lost

We have officially been truck drivers for three years now. Well to be technical, three years ago we only had our permit, but I am counting it since shortly after we started ACTUALLY driving. Everyone in the country seems to be looking back four years, and I did that when I stood in the store contemplating buying ZooPals to serve cake on (inside family joke). However, as this most recent change has taken place, and I try to prepare for even more changes, I have become increasingly aware of the things I have lost.
I have lost the ability to change my mind on clothing or shoes. Again, those who know me know that even if I were to plan an outfit the night before, inevitably I go to put it on and decide to change. It may be because I got toothpaste or deodorant on it. It may be because I am all of the sudden bloated. Or it may be because I just changed my mind. No matter the reason, typically my hubby or someone else would have to bring me back to reality and force me to stop changing clothes. Now, I have about three tank or sleeveless shirts, about six short sleeves, five long sleeves (it is almost time for snow), a few shorts, a few capris, yoga pants (and they are never used for yoga), jeans, and some comfy jammy pants, and two pairs of shoes. They all sort of go together (and that part is difficult for me). My intent really is to create a wardrobe I can more or less ensure it is weather appropriate and not care what I look like. For those who know me, you know this is something you never thought you would see. It makes things easier, but I miss my heels and Ann Taylor Loft pants.
I have lost a frost free freezer, and recently had to replace my blow dryer. Most of you will remember the days of having a freezer create so much ice you had to empty it, and use a blow dryer to remove all of the built up ice on it. For some who read this you will have no clue what I am talking about and will be scratching your head trying to understand. Trust me, the modern frost-proof freezers that don't create more unusable ice than safely freezing food are a blessing. While i am thankful for our freezer, it reminds me after about 3 weeks that I need to break out the hair dryer again. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, but my middle daughter "borrowed" my hair dryer and I haven't seen it in a long time.
I have lost my ability to change my mind and cook something different. For those in a truck you totally understand, but for others, let me explain. At home you have a stove, oven, microwave, lots of cooking implements, and a store within driving distance. Unless you don't have a working car, if you decide chicken enchiladas isn't really what you want to make for dinner, you'd just rather have spaghetti, you can swing by the grocery store get what you need and no one knows any different. For us, right now our microwave doesn't work, all we have is a convection oven, a grill, and a plug in frying pan. Not always can we pass close enough to a Walmart that all 83' of us can get in and out of, much less do we always have time. Believe me time is a luxury we don't always have.
Since this one just came up, I have lost my ability to complete one thing without being interrupted. Okay, most of you are cracking up at that one. Especially my children who have seen me clean and realize I get distracted taking one thing into a room and then start cleaning that, try to put something away in the hall closet and realize I need to clean that too. Yes, my ability to stay on task has always been in question, but now inevitably as soon as I start doing anything, the phone rings and we have to get going. I started this blogpost and now we are headed to Houston to get two engines to go to Newark. Now I get to try to finish my post while the truck is being driven down the road (Thank God for the Backspace key).
I have lost my ability to get up and get going when I want. Okay, so most can't do that either, since we are slaves to an alarm clock and schedules set by our family, our bosses, etc. Let me explain. Imagine putting a mattress in the back of your walk in closet (because that is pretty much how big our sleeper is), now imagine sleeping along the back wall of that. Everything is fine if you are the only one in the bed (or only share it with a dog), but if you are relegated to the back wall and have to crawl over your hubby to get out of bed, believe me things change. Gone is the ability to get up, make a pot of coffee, read a little, and get my morning time going without disturbing anyone else. While we are making plans to expand our sleeper, right now I cannot really do this. My middle daughter would say I disturbed her a lot when I first get up when we are at home, but it is never really my goal. Now the coffee pot is at the end of the bed, so trying to not wake up my husband by crawling over him is now even more difficult by trying to make the pot of coffee.
I have lost a schedule. Most people have a set schedule they work, are at home, etc. Our schedule is so flexible it is pretty much non-existent. While I do typically drive from midnightish to noonish (depending on the loads and timing of things), waking up every day at midnight and going to sleep at noon is not really feasible. When we are sitting, I would rather be up when "normal" people are, but still get up earlier than those in the truck. Doctors would say this is horrible, I need to be on a normal schedule, but this is life.
I have lost my ability to plan. Again, trucking involves flexibility. If we plan on going to the grocery store along the way, inevitably they will call and change our route to pick up something else, making the planned stop impossible. If we plan on being able to pay something off, inevitably the loads don't work out to where that will happen. Planning is gone. For me, this one is difficult. I am Mrs. Control Freak. No schedule, no plan, I am typically worried.
There are so many more things I could list that I have lost, but there are so many things I have gained as well.
I have gained the ability to spend every day with my best friend and love of my life. Yes, this can be difficult at times, but once we got past the first six months being under each others feet isn't quite so bad.
I have gained time with my youngest daughter. Right now she is at home because we are in the probationary period with our new company, however, typically she is with us. (Yes, that is three people and a dog in a rolling walk-in closet complete with a bathroom and kitchenette.) I have gained the ability to see her grow before my eyes. I have gained the ability to teach her. I have gained the ability to watch her get something. I have gained sharing things with her. Believe me, this is a huge gain that I would not give up.
I have gained a beautiful office view. My friend, Paula, likes to brag we have the best office view. I agree. It is ever-changing. Very rarely do we have a view that I can't find something to enjoy. I may have to wait for the sun to cooperate, but even when we sit there is something to enjoy. As we drive down the road, just seeing the land is a blessing. Losing my little plot in cubicle-land is no big deal when I look at His beauty.
I have gained more quality in the time we have at home. Believe me, those of you who live in the same place as your family don't understand this one at all, but you don't know what you have. We have family spread out all over. Some times we can only stop in and have coffee and smoothies. Some times we actually get to sit down to a meal and stand in the kitchen discussing politics (dangerous thing). Believe me our time with our family that does not live in Alabama is absolutely a blessing we would never have any other way. However, even the time when we are at home is better. I cook way too much food, and we enjoy each other more than we did when we were all on top of each other. Now it helps that all but the youngest are adults with their own lives anyway, but believe me the time is different.
I have gained time with God. Think about it, how many people get to spend ten hours a day driving down the road, enjoying all that God has created, learning with your child, thankful for it all, and yet praying and seeking God's wisdom while you are alone? Okay, I know that there are millions of drivers, but not all of them look at things through the same eyes. When I am having a hard time, I intentionally ask God to help me through it, and praise Him when He does. A pastor a long time ago told everyone to pray while they were in the car, and they would be amazed how pleasant the drive is. I would say the same thing. Pray and worship while you drive and truly put your trip (even if its five miles) in His hands and you will be amazed what He does.
There are so many things I have lost and gained, but since I am getting old and now my mind is focused on work, I can't think right now. I challenge each person reading this to pray, listen and worship while driving, or commuting. I also challenge you to think about the things you have, and remember, "A truck brought it." I challenge you to remember when you realize something you have lost (no your mind doesn't count), then thank God for something else you have gained. He may have allowed something to be removed from your life, but it is so He could cause you to grow. Growing past Mrs. Control Freak into Mrs. Trying to be Flexible is a difficult path, but one I know He had a reason to place me on. Thank you God for putting this in my mind today, and thank all of you for allowing me to share it with you.

Stupid....

To most of you, who have a loving mother, you will never understand how blessed you are. I love the mother I had, but not the woman I have for a mother now. I have been raised by a number of strong women. My mother went through a rough divorce when I was in high school, and a wonderful woman (Linda, who was my best friend's mom) kept both our heads on straight. Linda helped my mother in a great many ways I couldn't. Slowly my mother has become an angry, bitter, controlling woman that I don't like. While we were at home, I had the pleasure of meeting my daughter's boyfriend. Kris asked if I knew what my granddaughter calls him. I didn't. She said he is called "Stupid Stephen". It turns out among the hatred my mother spews, a great many things are called stupid.... I know it makes me angry an adult cannot watch their tongue enough around a toddler that she is now referring to a nice guy as stupid. More than that, my mother makes me sad. I understand her life hasn't been easy, but she was the one who taught me to pick myself up, dust off and continue. Make the best of things. Now, she cannot do that. I pray for her regularly. Maybe one day she will see her stupid comments are just that, stupid.

Home time

For the first time in a while, we took the opportunity to be home. It was so nice to play Rock Band, cook out, and watch TV. I spent way too much on groceries, but that is just me. I made two birthday cakes, and as usual messed up one. Tennessee and Clemson won, so it was a good weekend for football. I haven't done laundry, so I guess I get to wake up early. I am definitely thankful for being home.

Delivered and Heading Towards Home

We made it through our first long AOG, although I wouldn't have really called it an AOG because they didn't treat it like an AOG. Anyway, survived NYC, which some might not understand why that is truly a survival, but in a big truck with signs like the one below(keeping in mind we are 13'4"), you can understand why.

Believe me taking Exit 27 is not advisable either, since we have a 53' trailer and could get fined for that. There are some pretty views, like the Statue of Liberty (from very far away), all of Manhattan, the Brooklyn Bridge, the ocean, etc. But it is so tight and so many people who only care about themselves it makes it nightmarish.

We also got to enjoy a beautiful sunset from a hanger in La Guardia Airport.



Anyway, all is delivered and we survived. God smiled on our hard work, and allowed a trip to fall into our laps that goes in the direction of home. We have 2 engines that are going to Columbus, GA. I do believe we will actually be going on Ft Benning, but not too sure just yet. Would love to be able to see the kids, maybe celebrate Josh's birthday early, clean out my middle daughters old room, and figure out what the heck is going on with my younger sister. Who knows. I guess it all depends on if we are needed somewhere.

I will start on the second book for school today. I really hope it will be as great as Mara.

Monday :-(

I am so glad the day is over for me. I know some don't understand, but when you wake up at midnight, the day ends about noon. The day started with unloading in Tulsa. Couldn't see the sunrise as it was behind me most of the time and then shining in the mirror too bright for my eyes. My drive was good. Ended the day in Albuquerque with a shower and lunch.
About the shower, if I have to wait over half an hour for a shower because you haven't washed enough towels, then it better be clean! Was it? Obviously not or I wouldn't be complaining. There was dust on several things and little black hairs on everything else (like the shower curtain, sink, shelf for you to set your bag, etc.). After being informed as to why the shower took so long, there was no way I was going to demand it be cleaned. I used the washcloth and wiped everything I would need to touch, and took a quick shower. Afterwards I made sure they knew I was not happy with the bathroom. They acted like I was crazy.
After my hubby got done with his shower, we went to eat at Denny's. Before I could even sit down, I had to request they clean the seat first. Honestly, are my expectations too high???
Anyway I will finish the first book today. Mara is definitely an intriguing book with a lot of history behind it. I hope my daughter likes it. I am really feeling great about our curriculum choice.

Bye bye Daddy

While we were waiting on our engine to get swapped out, my husband and I encountered a cute little girl while eating. In a crowded restaurant, you run into all types. In a restaurant in a truck stop it is even worse. As we ate we heard a little girl saying, "Bye, bye, Daddy." She kept repeating it over and over. Finally my husband looked up and waved at her.
The gentleman sitting at her table asked, "Do you see your Daddy."
"Yep."
"Where?" He questioned.
"Right there." She was pointing at my husband.
After the waitress talked to her a bit, we found out Trinity was 2. She was "very smart" and was learning her colors and songs. She was a little cutie, and seemed very bright. When the waitress left her table she said, "Bye bye Auntie."
Everyone commented how cute it was. The waitress was white, like my husband. I remember thinking it was cute but speculating that she must be mixed. I agreed with everyone that she was cute, but as I left I felt sad for her.
While I didn't speak with Trinity's mother, and we could discern the man at her table was not her father, I am fairly certain Trinity wouldn't recognize her father from Donald Trump. Those who know me know that my girls grew up with rather absent fathers. My oldest wouldn't know her father if he walked up to her, and my youngest hasn't seen her father in over ten years, but at the age of two, none of my children would have called an absolute stranger daddy or auntie.
This whole thing saddened me. I know I am not one to judge anyone else's situation, but I felt sorry for this girl. I pray some man as wonderful as my husband will step up and assume the responsibilities someone else walked out on. Anyone can make a baby, but only special men deserve the title "Daddy." I know my girls are blessed, as I am, that my husband has earned that title.

I feel old

Ever have one of those mornings you just feel old? Well, when I woke up today I felt like my husband had run over me with the truck and picked me up and put me in bed since the truck insurance will only pay for my death if I die in the truck. My back feels like a steel rod. Where my back goes into my hips is now a firm fitting as well. I feel like a robot.
Anyway, enough complaining, about that any way. We ran out from San Francisco to Newark as hard as we could with having not been in our regular schedule. (Nearly 3000 miles in 56 hours, with several hours in California and several more in the traffic on the east coast). We can average a bit faster than the 52 mph we did, but with my stomach wanting to revolt day before yesterday, I really don't think that was bad at all. I digress. We get to Newark at shortly after 7 p.m., to be told to back in around cars that are just parked however, in a space barely wide enough for our trailer, definitely not capable of having us back around these cars to go into a hanger. UUUUGGGGHHHH. Do people seriously not understand our trailer is 53' long and 102" wide. We cannot back the 53' worth of trailer around cars only parked 10' apart, and definitely not when there is little more than that to maneuver. When we had our other AOG, they asked when we would be there, had a crew ready, and we parked on the tarmac while they did the change out. This time (different company), we are being asked to unload everything, and go wherever until they are done with the engine, then we can reload and be back on our way. It is against Southern Pride policy to leave the facility on an AOG until the new engine has been run tested. I guess exceptions are made. This company only has an engine change out crew on the clock from 8 - 5. So, an AOG, which takes on average 15 hours to complete the full swap and test, now delays us by almost 48 hours instead of the usual 15. So, we reminded them in San Francisco about the need for an empty stand, and tow bars, all for nothing. We further confirmed we would be taking the same junk back for nothing yet again, except to be delayed for longer.

Well, at least I will get to finish reading the first book for Bonnie, maybe work on the new sleeper plans, work on the budget, and work on any other organizational things I come across in the mean time. And yet again, we will be all out of sorts, and drag our butts back to San Francisco. Lets just say I won't care when we get there after this.

Uuuugh

Yesterday, just when we got to sleep (shortly after midnight), the phone rang. If the phone rings that late, it is NEVER a good thing. An airplane is on the ground (AOG) in Newark NJ which needs an engine. We were in Sacramento CA. Ummmm you mean to tell me there isn't an engine closer than we are? They manufacture the engines just up in Connecticut. Whatever. So, we are running as fast as we can from one end of 80 to the other (pretty much). Normally no big deal, but when your sleep is off usual times it is rough. I can't seem to get back in the groove, and thanks to my nerves my IBS is acting up bad. I may be going to a liquid diet really soon.
On the homeschooling front, I am over half way through reading my daughter's first independent reader. I really hope she likes it. She will be flying home on Saturday. She gets to work on math and perhaps science with her brother and sister while everyone else gets up and goes to a traditional school. I cannot wait to officially have the last kid be a teenager and rejoin us in the truck. Life isn't the same.

Beginning

My middle daughter told me a while ago I fb too much. While I know there are several who live on fb muchmore than I, I also have a need to decompress. Life on the road is full of so much, and when you add homeschooling to the mix, there is so much more to talk about.

And so it begins.