Oh, no, is it really Friday

Indiana sunset. I definitely enjoy being able to watch sunrises and sunsets from our moving office.

Where has this week gone? Last thing I remember we were wondering what we would end up getting out of Chicago, as we sat in Minneapolis. Now, here we sit in San Antonio. This week has flown by. Incredible how time flies. 

This week has brought a bit of progress on the homeschooling front. No multiple books finished, like the last few weeks, just trotting along. Bonnie did finish another module in science, and is readying to take a test on that material. She is almost finished with yet another chapter in PreAlgebra, so she will be taking a test in that shortly as well. I really need to update the spreadsheet and get first semester report figured out.

Notice the speed limit. 19, not 20. I just thought it was silly.

As far as our loads go, we ended up hauling a LM6000, which was something new for us. We had to look it up to see what it was, and fretted about how we were going to tarp it. I was concerned because there is something sticking up in the middle that I was afraid would make tarping a bit difficult. In the end, it was in a can, so we didn’t tarp it at all. The kit that went with it was no big deal to tarp. When we got to Cincinnati to load, I felt rather silly for worrying about something I really didn’t need to worry about. Isn’t that life, worry about something for no reason? When we delivered in Houston, we immediately got a load going to San Antonio. When I was checking in, they made a comment about it being oversized, so we checked the engine and verified it was a little over. Since we were only going 200 miles, I thought it wouldn’t be too bad to just move it and hope things went alright. Sure enough, a scale that is never open was open! To top it off, after I entered the scale, they closed it. I was sweating bullets. The sheriff who was watching as we went across the scale kept getting a phone call, so he only asked how much the engine weighed and then let me go. At that point we had 50 miles to go in the trip. I was so scared the whole time, knowing I was wrong. Trust me that will be the last time I try to fly under the radar with an oversized load. I am thankful that scale didn’t have lasers to measure things, or my goose would have been cooked.

The "naked" engine that gave me so much grief. They removed the ECM, but not the wiring that goes with it, and the oil cooler, but not the filter. Doing half of the job on each side left the engine 106" wide.

Personally, I have really found myself struggling with blame. I am not being blamed by others, but I blame myself. I blame myself for not being the best mother my eldest daughter deserved, or any of my daughters for that matter. I wonder how things would be different if I hadn’t allowed pride to enter in. Would my eldest be a felon, with two children she can’t really take care of? Would she be under the influence of all the drugs she is, and would she be a stripper? I thought I could do it, and then repeatedly failed. If I had stopped my pride from the beginning and allowed my aunt and uncle to adopt her, would her life have been better? I blame myself for my grandchildren’s current plight. They didn’t ask to be born into this situation, and all anyone can do is try to shelter them from her circumstances, but that ends up hurting them as well. Blame has definitely rooted itself in my brain a great deal. I am praying for things to be worked out, and for the blame to lose its grip.

I pray this week has been productive, and safe for everyone. I encourage you to not worry about things, especially before you absolutely have to. I definitely wasted time worrying this week, and it was unnecessary. God has it all under control, and all we can do is keep trotting along sometimes.

Priorities

Our truck all lit up with Dallas in the background.

I know I haven't blogged in a long time. While I may have been able to carve out time to blog, truth is, I had other priorities. We have been quite busy doing a great many other things. We have switched companies, which meant we turned in our 2013 53' trailer, and bought a 2000 48' trailer. We spent a long time at home during that time. We celebrated Christmas at Thanksgiving, organized the truck, and organized the house quite a bit. We started making plans for what we would do with the house, and how we might be able to make it work.  While at home we were able to go on two homeschool outings, and finally got to meet quite a few people I have gotten to know through Facebook. It was definitely great spending time at home, and yet the road is where I feel more at home than ever.

Everywhere we go, people are amazed at what we do (homeschooling on the road). The one question asked most frequently is, "How do you do it?" I always answer the same way, prioritize. 

Isn't life in general a matter of prioritizing things? Sure, we can choose to sit in front of the television and veg out, but then we aren't putting a priority on other things, like family, health, etc. If you look at what you spend time doing throughout the day, you will see what priority drives your life. Is sitting, watching television, playing games on your phone, or any other solitary activity bad? No. However, if you claim your family is your priority, and yet you spend time locked into something that excludes your family, you aren't being honest with yourself. 

I spent a great deal of time at home getting honest with myself. I have spent the last year comparing myself to other mothers (both homeschooling moms and mothers who send their kids to school), other drivers, other wives, other business owners, and even my sisters. I have decided that I am not going to be concerned with where I measure up to someone else's measuring stick, God will only measure me according to what I was destined to be. No one else's thoughts about my life matter. I am me. Getting honest with myself has led me to really examine my priorities. I say I value family, and yet I too am guilty of excluding others. I say I value my health, and yet exercise is not something I really even want to figure out how to do on the truck. I say I value the time cooking and teaching my daughter to do the same thing, however we regularly eat out. That leads to spending money I say I desperately want to save. I say I want to write, and yet I don't. The question is how do I get things back in line?

Over the past six months there have been several people who have chosen to block out social media because it was taking over their lives. I respect those that choose to do it, because I realize this is simply a reaction to being convicted of misplaced priorities. I am not getting on that band wagon, but I am trying to continually examine what my life says about my priorities. That does mean I am going to limit my time on social media, and really looking at how my time lines up with my priorities. 

Matthew 6:24 says, “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other.” When my priorities show that I am serving myself and this world, rather than my God and my family, I know things are not right. I am thankful to have a loving God that can remind me when my life has gotten off kilter, and kindly guide me back to what is important, Him. It is because I felt His guiding that we started on the journey to homeschool. I am thankful every day he gives me the strength and time to complete schoolwork, and the many other things I have put on my plate. God is good.

As the year has changed, perhaps too will my ability to recognize when my priorities have gotten off kilter. I pray everyone reading will listen to the calm guiding when your life gets a little off track.

"Semi" retired?

Yesterday we were set to pick up one oversized load, that turned into two. We had already been told we wouldn't be getting night permits, so I thought we would have an easy day. It turns out, we will have a pretty easy week. We have a fan case that is 134" wide (standard trailer width is 102"),  in addition to the planned 108" wide engine. Instead of being oversized only from Newark NJ to Hebron KY, we will be oversized all the way to Houston TX.
I would think most homeschooling families get up, have breakfast, "do school", eat lunch in there somewhere, and fill in with whatever else they need to do. Well, I usually wake up, drive, "do school", start dinner, and then sleep. I would guess my "day" is more similar to a woman who home schools, after she works third shift. This week, we all get up together, shortly before sunrise, have coffee and breakfast, my hubby drives while Bonnie and I get the schoolwork done that requires me, I give her the rest of her assignments, start dinner, and then I get to help with routing, and just relax. I am blessed that my husband would rather only have him drive this load, because I freak out in tight spaces. I keep thinking this must be what it is like to be "semi"-retired. Wow! How relaxing, and yet I am afraid I will be bored by the time we deliver. Beware, I may end up finishing all the blog posts I have started and never finished.
To share a little of what we have been doing, we are almost finished with Beyond the Desert Gate. The part where Hylas talks about Jerusalem will be destroyed because of their unwillingness to submit to God's control hit home. Bonnie started reading Flame Over Tara shortly before St Patrick's Day, and is now about half through with it. Math is coming along, as is science. This week we are reading the book of James. Those of you who are familiar with Sonlight will recognize we are nowhere near the halfway point on the curriculum, but we are enjoying our laid back times. I guess this week will get us back up to speed a bit. Only 2 more months of school, but I plan on schooling right through the summer.
I hope everyone is being safe. Be aware with an oversized load, we have so much larger blind spots, so help the driver out when you can.

Insight Into Our Life

There are so many things that happen in each person's life that allows them to give them insight to people who aren't in your shoes. While we were home I was asked for insight into the company we are leased to, and approached for help in another. While answering questions or concerns about a company is something most in the trucking world are familiar with, the request for help came as a shock to me. I know my family has a tendency to look down their nose at our lifestyle, and somewhat don't care, I never considered there were others who honestly want to be in our shoes.

My life five years ago was so different than my life now. I was just finishing my Bachelors degree in Accounting. I thought despite having businesses I did accounting for close, I would still be able to find a job in my field. As a last resort, I went back to Customer Service. As many know, the economy was (and in my opinion still is) in a slump. My husband decided to start looking into trucking. (He used to drive in the 90's, and considering the paychecks he was receiving was considering it again.) We were barely making it, and many times had to give up lots just to be able to somehow make ends meet. Life was a struggle, but we were home and living a rather traditional life.

Three and a half years ago we boarded a bus bound for Salt Lake City. After a lot of research, and talking to people who would end up being very dear friends, we decided on Central Refrigerated as the company we would start with. (In my opinion, they are a decent starter company, but you must remember trucking is your way to make a living, and treat it like a business whether you lease from them or not.) While we were there, many things happened (like our Chi passing away) and many people began forming opinions of how wrong we were for starting this. Obviously, we couldn't take the kids with us during training, so our oldest son was left in charge of the girls at home. Slowly we worked our way toward owning our own truck (including leasing a truck from our company), and being able to have our daughter on the truck. 

I have ALWAYS wanted to homeschool my girls, but never felt like we were able to do it. I am in awe of the people who can homeschool at home, but staying home (reducing the household income) and schooling the kids was not something I ever thought I could do. Well, trucking and homeschooling to me just fit. Now, I could homeschool my daughter and still work! I knew it would be hard work, but I wanted to do it. I have learned homeschooling is a lifestyle many look down on, but a choice few admire it. Since trucking is much the same, homeschooling on the truck definitely something a great many look down on. 

Last year we chose a curriculum we thought would work because it would be easy (Switched-On Schoolhouse). While the curriculum would work for some, it felt like we were fighting the curriculum and fighting each other on learning. It just was not for us. We spent the the latter part of the school year considering what curriculum we would use this school year. We discussed many choices, and finally I chose Sonlight for the main portion of the curriculum, Apologia for science (saving the experiments for when we are at home), and (based on the suggestion from Sonlight) Teaching Textbooks for math. I think the curriculum has been a great fit. I love reading, and now that love of reading has been passed on to my daughter!

My daughter reading while we wait for service to be done on the truck. I love that she chose to read.

Homeschooling on its own can be difficult. Trucking can be difficult. Combine the two and you have so many opportunities for failure. There are many times I have literally fallen asleep reading with my daughter. I plan out what we will do each day, but then we do what we can when we can. Sometimes we struggle with getting things done, but every day I see progress! It is amazing.

Among the concerns for homeschooling in general, which homeschooling on the truck magnifies, is the socialization. Does my daughter socialize with kids her own age? No. However, consider your own friends. How many friends are within a year or two of your own age? Not many, I would guess. My daughter may not interact on a daily basis with people her own age, but she can show respect for people older than her, and help people in many places. She is a wonderful young woman (of course I am a little partial). We are blessed with a large family, and she has been able to spend time with many different people along the way.

While our life is not typical, I am happy with the choices we have made. I am happy we are together on the truck. It is difficult, but to me it is so worth it. 

Ready and Waiting

We have been at home for a bit, which most people in our circumstance would look forward to, but when we are home, it is because something on the truck is going wrong. This time the truck was leaking so much, electronics were shorting out. Ugh! I thought we fixed this issue last year! I guess not.
This time we replaced all the lights, rewired, fiberglassed and painted the cab. I don't think it will be leaking soon. We discovered there were broken brackets, replaced them. The new lights and redone cab look great.

One of the things I do when I am "wasting time" is to consider all the things I COULD do if I was at home, instead of living on the truck. One of the things I would love to try is Once a Month Cooking. I have looked at several different sites, considered several pins, and decided even if I was at home I would end up making up my own menu instead of following anyone else's.

Well, this time we were home, I decided I would do all I could to get as close to it and pack the stuff in the truck. Success! I did it. I have successfully prepped 24 dinners! I know, not quite 30, but considering leftovers and life, 24 is as close as most get to this accomplishment. Most of these meals can  be made in the crockpot (my favorite tool on the truck). Below is a brief explanation of how I did it.

First I planned out what meals we wanted to have, wrote the recipes out, tried to verify what supplies we had on hand (and still ended up getting some duplicates), and added some wants from my daughter and husband. Not counting that time, the start time for the following was 11:45 in the morning.

Shopping

Considering where we live, I usually opt to shop in Ardmore instead of driving into Huntsville. Considering this, I like being able to get the 5 for $20 meat deals at Piggly Wiggly. Dollar General has most everything else we need. The list was filled between the two stores (all except the Airborne - a must have on the truck), for only $457! Above is a picture of most of the bags, as we were bringing them in.

Sorting and Prepping

The dry and refrigerated products used to make the recipes.

The meats

I didn't even look at the clock to see what time I got home from shopping, but I do believe it was about 2:00 in the afternoon. It took a little bit to separate the main groups, but thankfully I had my daughter to help with prepping the veggies. Her help was GREAT! We labeled the bags and dumped the meals into the bags, and put them in the freezer. My husband said there was way too much food, so I tried to fit it all in one drawer in the freezer thinking that would work. We were eating at 7:00 at night, so I really don't think 7:15 for shopping and prepping wasn't too bad.

Today we had our third dinner from this adventure. The first meal was something we usually put in the crockpot, but decided to try it in the oven. Failure! I guess the crockpot keeps in all the moisture and makes it SO much better.

Perogies, diced chicken, frozen peas and Alfredo. This is in my bowl with a little Parmesan on top. Notice the slightly browned Perogies.

The following morning, I tried French Toast in the crockpot. I thought it was too moist. My daughter thought it was barely edible. It ended up more like bread pudding than French Toast. It was definitely strange to have breakfast ready before coffee.

Last night I made Lasagna. I am sure everyone has their own recipe. I was prepared to do this on the truck in the crockpot if we were ready to roll, but we weren't.

Today, we finished loading the truck and now are ready to roll and waiting on a load. Packing the meals in the freezer was VERY difficult. We no longer have any room for the ice cube trays or the ice packs (let's hope we don't have any injury that needs to be iced), but the meals fit. The picture above represents nineteen meals frozen. It was all I had room for. I guess from now on, I will only do two weeks at a time, which is just fine since that is how often we are paid. The fridge was just as full, and has two meals waiting to go in the crockpot, and some leftover lasagna. 

I will let you know how this goes. I am hoping it goes well. Meanwhile, we sit here waiting for a load, and hope it doesn't take long, since when the wheels don't turn, we don't earn. Hope you feel successful at something, even if it is just filling the fridge and freezer with a month of meals!

"My favorite thing about school is reading."

I love reading. There are some books I drudge through, when required to read, but most I breeze through and have to be forced to stop reading. My issue, if I get distracted, I tend to want to read something different when I start reading again. I regularly would have a stack of books, all of which I am part of the way through (kind of like my crocheting projects, lots started).
I fell in love with the idea of the kindle as soon as I saw it. I thought it would be an awesome way to keep my multiple books down to just one item. (I have thanked my daughter several times for listening to her mother once and buying just what I wanted.)
We struggled through our first year homeschooling. We thought a curriculum that was computer based would be the best for us on a truck. We picked Switched on Schoolhouse by Alpha Omega. It was alright, but the answers had to be formatted perfectly to get answers correct. It was beyond frustrating. I did not enjoy teaching. She didn't enjoy learning. It wasn't a good year.
We started looking in April for a curriculum to switch to. My husband wanted to use Abeka or BJU. I really wanted to use Sonlight. I was hopeful my love of reading could rub off on just one more of my daughters. So, slowly I got the curriculum, and were able to start. We had a late start due to a company switch, but the further we get into the curriculum, the more I enjoy it.
We were discussing her progress this year, when she said, "My favorite thing about school is reading." She thought she was struggling with Math, and was amazed to see her B+. Likewise, she was impressed to see her A- in Science. I however, was blown away to hear how she loves reading. I am so impressed. I trusted my gut and listened to my cousin (and only other family member who homeschools), and am loving it.
Sometimes, changing to something the teacher(parent) enjoys is the best thing for all involved.

Clearing the Foggy Attitude

Yesterday as I drove from Illinois into Memphis TN, I drove through some fog and thought about how this fog was like my attitude. I have been trying desperately to not write about my frustrations and turn this into a vent, so I have held much of it in. I have not discussed my frustrations with a screwed up Christmas or our blown turbo. Believe me this year hasn't started much better than last year began. As a result my attitude has become as dreary as a foggy landscape.
It hit me as I was making that drive. Sometimes being foggy is okay. It is in these times I keep my head focused on what is right ahead of me. Can I see miles ahead? No. Sometimes I cannot see more than a few hundred feet. The focus needed to make it through just a few miles is difficult at times, but when you make it where you need to be, you realize you have accomplished something.
In our trucking life I have grumbled, and let my inner grumblings affect my attitude. However, I had to really to stop and consider we have paid off several things, and now our work will be more in our pocket, than paying off bills. We had a bump with our turbo literally blowing apart, but now we have a new turbo, new air filters and new brakes. We are getting somewhere, just slowly and still unable to see beyond our immediate future.
On the homeschooling front, this month brings semester reports. I discovered how far we have come. We should meet attendance goal by April. Boo is really enjoying reading. Let me say that again. BOO IS ENJOYING READING!!! I prayed this day would come. Thank you Lord for answering my prayers.
On a personal note, I have long prayed for a way to use my piece of paper I spent 17 years to complete. (I have an Accounting degree that is only useful to our family.) I am still praying, but with the help of a radio visionary, my prayers may be getting answered. I don't want to share too much but I ask you prày His will be done in this situation.
We are two weeks into the new year. Before too long the first month will be over, and time will speed by faster than we imagine. I still can't see much beyond our immediate future, but I am thankful for this time we have just kept our nose to the grindstone and can now look up and appreciate the distance we have come. My foggy attitude is clearing, but I will just keep focusing on the immediate future and being thankful for each little mile marker we pass.

"I am glad I am homeschooled."

I had a lot of things flowing in my head unable to find the time to get the ideas from my head to this white surface. I have really been trying to be purposeful about what I share. Then, the horrible tragedy at Sandy Hook happened. When I woke up from my nap (I was asleep when it happened), the first words from my daughter's mouth were, "I am glad I am homeschooled. I don't ever want to go to a public school again."
I don't share that because homeschooling is the answer for everyone, believe me it is hard work. I don't share that because I feel we are somehow safe, I know tragedy can happen anywhere to anyone. I share her words only because they were her words in response to the saddening news (she was literally crying about it). I struggled with sharing her words, and keep coming back to them.
While I am glad she expressed those feelings, and feels bad for the families, I know there will come a point those feelings will fade. At some point, most of America will forget the tragedy, and only remember it when it is brought up later. This tragedy will change several families forever, but not all of us. At some point the same old family arguments will happen throughout the country, we will forget just how quickly things can change.
I struggled sharing anything on the tragedy because I struggle with the why. I don't understand why no matter what your issue is with your parents or your mental issues, why take that out on innocence. So many innocent lives have been taken, and blame is placed on so many things. Why did this happen?
This morning I heard Mike Huckabee say (I will quote as best I can), "How can we hope to have a moral society in a Godless vacuum?" How true. No matter how little sense we will ever make of this tragedy, I have to remember this Godless vacuum so many are pushing for is one of the reasons I always wanted to homeschool. How can anyone expect children to have a heart for others if they are in a electronic induced fantasy world filled with selfishness and slaughter? No, that is not a slam on video games in entirety. However, so many parents allow video games, television, computers, and public school to take the place of any sort of family time.
Why do we homeschool? Yes it is because we drive a truck, but so much more. We homeschool because I have long believed this education system is failing our children. I believe the cliches that I remember only in middle and high school have invaded the elementary schools and with it the sexual promiscuity that does not belong. We homeschool because we want to be together. We homeschool for these reasons and so many more. Every day we are reminded of why we do this, and become more thankful we do.
While my daughter can be hugged daily, so can most others. Hug your children. Teach them to be moral. Spend time with them. Pray with them. Pray for them. There are families who cannot do these things any longer. The most important thing we can ever give our children is our time, and they deserve more of our time and our prayers.

Back to "Normal"

After more time than planned at home, we have our first couple of loads. Getting back in the groove of driving is difficult at first. I hardly made it through five hours without scaring myself due to how tired I got. I really enjoy our core curriculum. Yesterday we enjoyed BBQ from our new microwave. Today I think I will start a roast and go to sleep. I hope to not wake up until San Antonio.

November thus far

I had all these grand plans for November (posting something I was thankful for each day), and then we came home. Even when I tried to catch up, things got in the way and I never seemed to be able to write. Oh how I miss writing. So,instead of catching up on thankfulness,because it really would seem silly to me, I am just going to vent about this hectic month that has really been rather productive.
We came home in time to celebrate my last daughter to become a teenager. It was great to share the baking with my middle daughter. It was nice to then have my sister come and wish her a happy birthday. Family time is great.
We have been able to start really focusing on school. I so enjoy reading with my daughter,and discussing things with her. Every time I see her really show an understanding of any subject, it is a blessing. She is really excited about her science curriculum because she cannot wait to dissect things. We are using Sonlight for most subjects, Teaching Textbook for Math, and Apologia for General Science. All of it fits so well together it is amazing. You would almost think I spent a long time debating what curriculum I was going to use. While I did spend a long time deciding on the Core curriculum, the science wasn't even ordered until October. I have plans for how we are going to make it through to the end of the school year while having the required attendance days. It will take some work, but I am sure we can do it.
We have been able to make some modifications to the truck. We have talked for three years about adding an Oil Purification System to the truck. It is finally on the truck. We have extra filters, so our maintenance costs will go down significantly. We are excited about that. The harmonic balancer has been replaced and we can already tell a difference in the smoothness of the drive. We added balance beads to the tires as well, so that has helped too. We have added a shelf for the printer and computers, one for Boo, and another for general stuff. Things are organized, which makes me happy. We replaced the microwave, which makes me happy too. We updated the GPS,and replaced most of the sound system. We also added an in motion satellite, and have started recording some educational programs. Now not only can we watch football (now that the season is almost over), but also things to go with schoolwork or just be informative.
On the business front, I was able to sort through a lot of paperwork, scan things, properly file paperwork, and catch up our bookkeeping. While I am upset to look at the taxable income, and see we are still below the poverty line, I have to remember all we are doing is not only for the business, but also for our family. I also have to remember in a year and a half the truck will be paid off, at which point our taxable income will go up. In addition, it means the kids continue to go to college for cheap.
As I look forward, I am not going to make any grand promises, because it is obvious my priorities aren't revolved around this blog. I am sorry to those who follow this and were looking forward to more regular posts, but I will write when I can or when I need to vent. I pray all who read are well, and I am thankful you spend your precious time reading my venting. I pray you have a blessed holiday season.

Plans

So many times throughout the day, as I drive, I start thinking and making plans. Most of these plans are simple things like where I am going to stop to go to the bathroom, take the dog out, or check the load. However, there are many times I start thinking of things a little further off. Blogging was a plan. I planned on having time to sit down, type on the phone or on the laptop and publish whatever was happening that day, or week, or whatever. What happened? Life. I can't always break out the computer, because sometimes I need to sleep, and even my desire to write on a more regular basis is more important than sleep!

While most make their goals at the beginning of the year, I am choosing to start writing my plans, now. I know, how silly, but in the next couple of weeks our life will get turned on its head again, before it can settle down. I feel maybe having this to remind me of my grand plans will help, and I will hope someone (maybe my friend and driving buddy, or my sister) will hold me accountable for some of what I write (since both are fellow bloggers). I know having an "accountability partner" creates success for so many things, and hopefully just someone asking how are you doing with..... will help me. 

For my blog, I plan to follow in my sister's steps and for the entire month of November I will recognize something I am thankful for. I also plan to recognize different Godly women in my blog on the 31st of each month (I know kind of silly, but since we all strive to be Proverbs 31 women, I thought it would be kind of appropriate). Along the way, I plan to share more of the many things I have been meaning to say, and yet have not.

For homeschool, we get to have Bonnie come back on the truck at the end of the month. I plan on sharing all the wonderful things I have been reading in her books, and discussing things with her. We will probably take a few days and discuss nothing but the election, its implications, and I even have a book thought of to share with her.

For the dog, I plan on really working with her on training and learning to be quiet. If you have ever met our dog you can see why that will be an issue. She thinks the world should love her and play with her, and most do.

For our finances, I want to have the "emergency fund" fully established by March 31, 2013 (end of 1st quarter). I plan on paying off at least two bills within the next quarter. We have really come far in that now we are caught up! Again, those in the trucking industry will understand how many times it is difficult to say that.

For the truck, I plan on having our sleeper extension plans developed and a price tag set by the end of the year, so we can figure out how to save for it in the budget. We plan on doing things like installing EcoPur and a few other things when we go home. Hopefully those things will help our comfort, and expenses ($300 oil changes about every 3 weeks is getting pretty expensive). 

For some reason, I thought I had thought of so much more before, and now I can't remember it. Guess it must be that sleep thing I need to do. So, with that I will close for now. I would love any advice on how to keep with my plans. 

What I Have Lost

We have officially been truck drivers for three years now. Well to be technical, three years ago we only had our permit, but I am counting it since shortly after we started ACTUALLY driving. Everyone in the country seems to be looking back four years, and I did that when I stood in the store contemplating buying ZooPals to serve cake on (inside family joke). However, as this most recent change has taken place, and I try to prepare for even more changes, I have become increasingly aware of the things I have lost.
I have lost the ability to change my mind on clothing or shoes. Again, those who know me know that even if I were to plan an outfit the night before, inevitably I go to put it on and decide to change. It may be because I got toothpaste or deodorant on it. It may be because I am all of the sudden bloated. Or it may be because I just changed my mind. No matter the reason, typically my hubby or someone else would have to bring me back to reality and force me to stop changing clothes. Now, I have about three tank or sleeveless shirts, about six short sleeves, five long sleeves (it is almost time for snow), a few shorts, a few capris, yoga pants (and they are never used for yoga), jeans, and some comfy jammy pants, and two pairs of shoes. They all sort of go together (and that part is difficult for me). My intent really is to create a wardrobe I can more or less ensure it is weather appropriate and not care what I look like. For those who know me, you know this is something you never thought you would see. It makes things easier, but I miss my heels and Ann Taylor Loft pants.
I have lost a frost free freezer, and recently had to replace my blow dryer. Most of you will remember the days of having a freezer create so much ice you had to empty it, and use a blow dryer to remove all of the built up ice on it. For some who read this you will have no clue what I am talking about and will be scratching your head trying to understand. Trust me, the modern frost-proof freezers that don't create more unusable ice than safely freezing food are a blessing. While i am thankful for our freezer, it reminds me after about 3 weeks that I need to break out the hair dryer again. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, but my middle daughter "borrowed" my hair dryer and I haven't seen it in a long time.
I have lost my ability to change my mind and cook something different. For those in a truck you totally understand, but for others, let me explain. At home you have a stove, oven, microwave, lots of cooking implements, and a store within driving distance. Unless you don't have a working car, if you decide chicken enchiladas isn't really what you want to make for dinner, you'd just rather have spaghetti, you can swing by the grocery store get what you need and no one knows any different. For us, right now our microwave doesn't work, all we have is a convection oven, a grill, and a plug in frying pan. Not always can we pass close enough to a Walmart that all 83' of us can get in and out of, much less do we always have time. Believe me time is a luxury we don't always have.
Since this one just came up, I have lost my ability to complete one thing without being interrupted. Okay, most of you are cracking up at that one. Especially my children who have seen me clean and realize I get distracted taking one thing into a room and then start cleaning that, try to put something away in the hall closet and realize I need to clean that too. Yes, my ability to stay on task has always been in question, but now inevitably as soon as I start doing anything, the phone rings and we have to get going. I started this blogpost and now we are headed to Houston to get two engines to go to Newark. Now I get to try to finish my post while the truck is being driven down the road (Thank God for the Backspace key).
I have lost my ability to get up and get going when I want. Okay, so most can't do that either, since we are slaves to an alarm clock and schedules set by our family, our bosses, etc. Let me explain. Imagine putting a mattress in the back of your walk in closet (because that is pretty much how big our sleeper is), now imagine sleeping along the back wall of that. Everything is fine if you are the only one in the bed (or only share it with a dog), but if you are relegated to the back wall and have to crawl over your hubby to get out of bed, believe me things change. Gone is the ability to get up, make a pot of coffee, read a little, and get my morning time going without disturbing anyone else. While we are making plans to expand our sleeper, right now I cannot really do this. My middle daughter would say I disturbed her a lot when I first get up when we are at home, but it is never really my goal. Now the coffee pot is at the end of the bed, so trying to not wake up my husband by crawling over him is now even more difficult by trying to make the pot of coffee.
I have lost a schedule. Most people have a set schedule they work, are at home, etc. Our schedule is so flexible it is pretty much non-existent. While I do typically drive from midnightish to noonish (depending on the loads and timing of things), waking up every day at midnight and going to sleep at noon is not really feasible. When we are sitting, I would rather be up when "normal" people are, but still get up earlier than those in the truck. Doctors would say this is horrible, I need to be on a normal schedule, but this is life.
I have lost my ability to plan. Again, trucking involves flexibility. If we plan on going to the grocery store along the way, inevitably they will call and change our route to pick up something else, making the planned stop impossible. If we plan on being able to pay something off, inevitably the loads don't work out to where that will happen. Planning is gone. For me, this one is difficult. I am Mrs. Control Freak. No schedule, no plan, I am typically worried.
There are so many more things I could list that I have lost, but there are so many things I have gained as well.
I have gained the ability to spend every day with my best friend and love of my life. Yes, this can be difficult at times, but once we got past the first six months being under each others feet isn't quite so bad.
I have gained time with my youngest daughter. Right now she is at home because we are in the probationary period with our new company, however, typically she is with us. (Yes, that is three people and a dog in a rolling walk-in closet complete with a bathroom and kitchenette.) I have gained the ability to see her grow before my eyes. I have gained the ability to teach her. I have gained the ability to watch her get something. I have gained sharing things with her. Believe me, this is a huge gain that I would not give up.
I have gained a beautiful office view. My friend, Paula, likes to brag we have the best office view. I agree. It is ever-changing. Very rarely do we have a view that I can't find something to enjoy. I may have to wait for the sun to cooperate, but even when we sit there is something to enjoy. As we drive down the road, just seeing the land is a blessing. Losing my little plot in cubicle-land is no big deal when I look at His beauty.
I have gained more quality in the time we have at home. Believe me, those of you who live in the same place as your family don't understand this one at all, but you don't know what you have. We have family spread out all over. Some times we can only stop in and have coffee and smoothies. Some times we actually get to sit down to a meal and stand in the kitchen discussing politics (dangerous thing). Believe me our time with our family that does not live in Alabama is absolutely a blessing we would never have any other way. However, even the time when we are at home is better. I cook way too much food, and we enjoy each other more than we did when we were all on top of each other. Now it helps that all but the youngest are adults with their own lives anyway, but believe me the time is different.
I have gained time with God. Think about it, how many people get to spend ten hours a day driving down the road, enjoying all that God has created, learning with your child, thankful for it all, and yet praying and seeking God's wisdom while you are alone? Okay, I know that there are millions of drivers, but not all of them look at things through the same eyes. When I am having a hard time, I intentionally ask God to help me through it, and praise Him when He does. A pastor a long time ago told everyone to pray while they were in the car, and they would be amazed how pleasant the drive is. I would say the same thing. Pray and worship while you drive and truly put your trip (even if its five miles) in His hands and you will be amazed what He does.
There are so many things I have lost and gained, but since I am getting old and now my mind is focused on work, I can't think right now. I challenge each person reading this to pray, listen and worship while driving, or commuting. I also challenge you to think about the things you have, and remember, "A truck brought it." I challenge you to remember when you realize something you have lost (no your mind doesn't count), then thank God for something else you have gained. He may have allowed something to be removed from your life, but it is so He could cause you to grow. Growing past Mrs. Control Freak into Mrs. Trying to be Flexible is a difficult path, but one I know He had a reason to place me on. Thank you God for putting this in my mind today, and thank all of you for allowing me to share it with you.

I feel old

Ever have one of those mornings you just feel old? Well, when I woke up today I felt like my husband had run over me with the truck and picked me up and put me in bed since the truck insurance will only pay for my death if I die in the truck. My back feels like a steel rod. Where my back goes into my hips is now a firm fitting as well. I feel like a robot.
Anyway, enough complaining, about that any way. We ran out from San Francisco to Newark as hard as we could with having not been in our regular schedule. (Nearly 3000 miles in 56 hours, with several hours in California and several more in the traffic on the east coast). We can average a bit faster than the 52 mph we did, but with my stomach wanting to revolt day before yesterday, I really don't think that was bad at all. I digress. We get to Newark at shortly after 7 p.m., to be told to back in around cars that are just parked however, in a space barely wide enough for our trailer, definitely not capable of having us back around these cars to go into a hanger. UUUUGGGGHHHH. Do people seriously not understand our trailer is 53' long and 102" wide. We cannot back the 53' worth of trailer around cars only parked 10' apart, and definitely not when there is little more than that to maneuver. When we had our other AOG, they asked when we would be there, had a crew ready, and we parked on the tarmac while they did the change out. This time (different company), we are being asked to unload everything, and go wherever until they are done with the engine, then we can reload and be back on our way. It is against Southern Pride policy to leave the facility on an AOG until the new engine has been run tested. I guess exceptions are made. This company only has an engine change out crew on the clock from 8 - 5. So, an AOG, which takes on average 15 hours to complete the full swap and test, now delays us by almost 48 hours instead of the usual 15. So, we reminded them in San Francisco about the need for an empty stand, and tow bars, all for nothing. We further confirmed we would be taking the same junk back for nothing yet again, except to be delayed for longer.

Well, at least I will get to finish reading the first book for Bonnie, maybe work on the new sleeper plans, work on the budget, and work on any other organizational things I come across in the mean time. And yet again, we will be all out of sorts, and drag our butts back to San Francisco. Lets just say I won't care when we get there after this.

Uuuugh

Yesterday, just when we got to sleep (shortly after midnight), the phone rang. If the phone rings that late, it is NEVER a good thing. An airplane is on the ground (AOG) in Newark NJ which needs an engine. We were in Sacramento CA. Ummmm you mean to tell me there isn't an engine closer than we are? They manufacture the engines just up in Connecticut. Whatever. So, we are running as fast as we can from one end of 80 to the other (pretty much). Normally no big deal, but when your sleep is off usual times it is rough. I can't seem to get back in the groove, and thanks to my nerves my IBS is acting up bad. I may be going to a liquid diet really soon.
On the homeschooling front, I am over half way through reading my daughter's first independent reader. I really hope she likes it. She will be flying home on Saturday. She gets to work on math and perhaps science with her brother and sister while everyone else gets up and goes to a traditional school. I cannot wait to officially have the last kid be a teenager and rejoin us in the truck. Life isn't the same.

Beginning

My middle daughter told me a while ago I fb too much. While I know there are several who live on fb muchmore than I, I also have a need to decompress. Life on the road is full of so much, and when you add homeschooling to the mix, there is so much more to talk about.

And so it begins.