Dear Ann, Should We Send Flowers?

Wow, it has been a long time since I have written. So many things have went through my head. So many things I have wanted to say, and yet the process of actually sitting down and typing out the thoughts floating in my head has been a bit difficult. No matter how many things have went through my head, now I feel I really should.
My husband got a text today from his ex-sister-in-law to let him know his ex-wife passed away. While I would like to say it came as a shock, it really didn't. She has slowly killed herself for years with alcohol and whatever other mood altering substance she could find. It isn't known just yet what killed her, but considering her past, it isn't too difficult to imagine. My husband said it made him feel old, because this is the first person our age that has died. (I turned 40 last week, so I guess we are getting up there a bit.)
While the death came as a shock, it also brought up a question. Should he send flowers? I posted the question on facebook, and even did a web search to see what the proper thing would be to do. The common response is, if you have children, or if you remained friendly with your ex-spouse or their family, then flowers would be appropriate.
When we started trying to figure out what would be appropriate, I wished I had Ann Landers phone number to call and ask. I realize I may be showing my age a bit, but I remember reading her column whenever I could get my hands on the newspaper. I loved reading her advice. Most of it wasn't really pertinent to me, but her ability to give sound advice was always amazing.
While I realize I was not in any way close to my husband's ex-wife, her death is still sad. She leaves behind a sister, nephew, mother, and father who loved her despite the pain she caused. While I am thankful for each birthday or other life event we have that is not interrupted by a call requesting bail money because she was caught drunk driving again, her family will also not have any phone calls from her. We will no longer have to endure her calls when she was depressed and really not in her right mind, but her family will not be able to experience her other joys.
It is now apparent to me that no matter what we do in life, there are some who will never know when we are gone, some who will not mourn our loss, and some who will mourn us entirely. Every death affects people differently. What type of an affect have you had on those in your life? Is there anything you can do to fix things? While you may never create devoted followers who will mourn you when you go, I would like to think it is better to be missed than to have people thankful you have gone.
Will we send flowers? Yes. While she was alive I sent several emails to her sister suggesting things she could do in therapy to help her. I do not think my words were ever taken seriously. While I won't miss her crazy calls, I do feel bad her family has lost her.